Poking You Repeatedly In The Face

2011-08-29T23:12:00.003-04:00

A lot of really pathetically tiny and stupid things seem to be able to make me cry lately. My boss' story of how he just proposed to his now fiancee? Yep. Seeing people holding hands or kissing on the cheek? Yep. Any movie except for horror movies where everyone dies and nobody falls in love in the process? Yep. That one song that was on that one mix CD? Yep. A stupid little stuffed animal thing with sad eyes in the toy aisle at Target? Yep...definitely yep.

But the number one thing that can do it is seeing people I went to high school or college with posting statuses on Facebook that say things like, "Five more unbearably long days until I see my sweetie! :'(" I'd take five days in a heartbeat. I'd take five weeks if it meant knowing for sure that I was ever going to see the person I love again.

2011-08-09T15:10:00.002-04:00

I have been posting a lot on Tumblr - mostly photos but sometimes words or links. I guess that kind of shows how I feel about this blog.

I neglect it a lot. I think I've always looked at it as the place where I can write about what I want to but still never really say anything about how I feel. And now, I just feel tired. I feel tired about this blog and I feel tired about life in general.

It seems like the common pattern in most areas of my life is that I try, consistently, but never succeed. And I now feel tired with trying.

This blog, if I even bother with it anymore, will probably take a more serious tone. I don't think I really have to go into detail. But, I guess if anyone doesn't want to hear it, then they can stop reading.

Now on Tumblr...

2011-07-22T15:33:00.004-04:00

I have started a Tumblr "blog" thing. This seems kind of stupid, considering I don't update this blog very often. But, because I have not had much to say lately, I thought that Tumblr would be a good way to easily share photos (which you can't do with Blogger?) of random things throughout my day (mostly taken from my phone, so nothing super fancy) and also share links. I can, of course, write little blogs on there too if I so desire, but I'm thinking that for now, those type of posts will stay here.

I haven't quite decided what I'm going to be doing as far as keeping this blog up and running. I may or may not, at a later date, decide that either I hate Tumblr and want to stay here on Blogger, or perhaps that I love Tumblr and want to move all of my entries on Blogger over there. Maybe someday I will even be a grown-up and make my own blog theme or have my own domain. Who knows.

This is not a farewell, this is just a notice of something new. So, now that all of that's out of the way, you can visit the Tumblr thingy at questce-que-cest.tumblr.com!

I'm still playing around trying to find a theme I like (so far, the current one is the best I have found), so it may change appearance a few times until I get settled in, but there are already some photos over there. Here's what it looks like rightrightnow in my browser!

Click it to make it bigger! And if you're already on Tumblr, you can follow me.

I've been looking for you...

2011-07-16T12:27:00.002-04:00

Why do I love you like I do?

Like Metallica but different....and better.

2011-07-12T13:07:00.003-04:00

Straight from the T-Rex's mouth...

2011-07-10T12:15:00.003-04:00

(sorry for blurryness - click to make bigger)

O cling to me baby in this broken dream!

2011-06-25T13:34:00.002-04:00

Who needs a record player? You are my record player.

Most days recently, really.

2011-06-18T12:37:00.000-04:00

Some days, it's like this.

I hate today.

2011-06-14T13:02:00.002-04:00

I am sick, I am in pain, I am contagious, and my health insurance company won't cover the one prescription I can take (which, of course, has no generics or OTC equivalents) to make me get significantly better in a reasonable amount of time. Thanks, guys! It was totally worth spending two hours and a $30 copay at the doctor's office just to get a prescription that I can't even afford to fill. AWESOME.

Also, my neighbors apparently come from a place where stereos don't have volume adjustment dials. You'd think that being one more written warning away from eviction would teach them to be a little more considerate.

New clothes.

2011-06-09T15:53:00.004-04:00

Favorite band of 2011.

2011-06-08T22:57:00.004-04:00

Got my hairs did.

2011-06-07T17:45:00.003-04:00

It's heeere...

2011-06-06T12:36:00.006-04:00

I miss...

2011-06-05T00:14:00.001-04:00

...having a little pile of these laying around.

2011-06-02T20:44:00.001-04:00

Newsflash: Keeping things inside and pretending things aren't pretty much shit doesn't work for the vast majority of people.

2011-05-10T01:26:00.010-04:00

I left a relationship in 2008 because I was being lied to, ignored, used, and generally treated like shit.

A gaggle of months later, I started pathetically hoping for an imaginary relationship with someone I felt really close to to someday be real.

And then I made the mistake of taking the chance of opening myself up to another human being. Since, I've kind of come to the conclusion that pretty much any time you do this, no matter how much you tell yourself that "this time will be different because he/she is a good person and blah blah blah," you are basically begging for someone to absolutely fucking destroy you.

But I really thought that this time wouldn't be a total disaster and that there might actually be another person in the world who wants to love and be loved instead of use and be loved. And that's why I'm whining into a Blogger box instead of talking to my best friend, who is too embarrassed to admit that he supposedly loves me for even one second of his life, so can't be there for me when everything is going to hell. Never mind that I've dedicated about 3 years of my life to trying to make him happy, that I've supported him in any endeavor he's ever considered, and that I've done nothing but give him loyalty and affection, meanwhile enduring passive aggressive, insulting comments for months from someone who didn't/doesn't even know me while he stood by, not saying a word. It, of course, was never enough.

Maybe I've just somehow become a total asshole in the past handful of years, but I don't see how you're supposed to not feel jaded about love and friendship and caring and affection when every time you try to give it, you get criticism and isolation in return.

A coworker, and someone who I really had a lot in common with, who I trusted and adored and looked at as a dear friend who I hoped to grow closer with over the years to come, killed himself this weekend. He was cultured, had a loving family, a loving boyfriend, and a beautiful home with an amazing garden. He had a job and coworkers who enjoyed his company. He lied to his parents about being in college and killed himself on the day of his supposed graduation instead of coming clean. My opinion of the coworker/friend that I knew hasn't changed but it's hard not to have a lot of mixed feelings about his final decision.

Knowing that he left behind a sister has really been the icing on the emotional wreck of a cake. This is the situation I've been in for the past 8 years of my life - the sister of a deceased brother. While my situation is not exactly the same as hers, I feel a lot of sympathy and understand that, unless she has far better friends than I've ever had, it's a really lonely path she has ahead. People tend to judge you a lot for the things that your family members do. And she'll never have a way to redeem the years ahead of her that could've been filled with sibling arguments, advice-giving, and comforting each other. It's just something that can't be replaced.

Work has very much been a struggle since the incident occurred, and everyone is a little tense. It's difficult to be in an industry (customer service) where essentially there is no "behind closed doors". A tragedy has occurred in our midst and we're all in a position of grieving and attempting to understand (together and individually), while at the same time trying to put on a face of normal, everyday functionality.

This week would've been the week when, personally, I really could've benefitted from having a best friend who could take a little bit of time to at least try to listen and understand what I'm feeling, for myself, for my coworkers, and for the aforementioned sister and family.

So I guess I feel confused that instead of crying and feeling safe and trying to heal, I'm sitting in front of the computer at 2 a.m. typing out a sad story that nobody will probably ever read, childishly venting about a relationship that, for all intents and purposes, isn't even real, and that I'm being made to feel like I'm a needy bitch for asking for somebody who I've given unconditional love to for years to take one day....to change his plans or for once put me first or pretend that I'm not some horrible, embarrassing, untouchable person for a few hours...and just be there. Just once.

But I'm probably just too sensitive and selfish and nobody else in their right mind could ever possibly be hurt by this. I think, however, more than anything, I'm just worn out, sad, frustrated, and sick of being just another "take it or leave it" thing.

The World is a Sick, Sick Place.

2011-02-17T13:00:00.004-05:00

The other day I happened to be reading the Facebook news feed, as I sometimes do when I'm trying to kill time. Up near the top, I saw a link posted that really upset me from first glance, but I thought I'd give it a chance to not be something terribly heinous. So I clicked. And I was met with the (partial) screen you see below. You can click to make it bigger.

This site is http://www.cuteteacuppuppies.com/ which is a ridiculous URL to begin with. Also ridiculous is:

a) selling dogs over the internet.

b) calling puppies a luxury item.

c) having a "BEWARE of SCAM!!" post on your site. Which you can't read unless you've logged in. So this scam must not be too important. Maybe the note actually reveals what I'm about to tell you.

But first....

Why am I upset by this, you ask? Somebody was just contemplating buying a darling little puppy. This is true. But....please, if you haven't, do click to make it bigger. Look at these dogs. Do they look normal to you? Have you ever seen a dog (outside of Paris Hilton's handbag) that looked like that? My problems with this are numerous.

First off, the term "teacup" is ridiculous. It doesn't exist. Talk to someone at the AKC or the AKA if you don't believe me. They will gladly tell you that each breed has a weight standard. What is called "teacup" does not fall within breed standard and, therefore, is not a "purebred" dog. Now, don't get me wrong...mutts deserve love too! But...

If you go to a pound and adopt a mutt, you aren't paying $3000-5000. For these tiny little dogs, which are specifically bred to be this tiny, you will pay that much. Most people in this situation assume they are just getting a really cute, tiny, purebred dog that they can dress up and carry around.

I am not criticizing small dogs. I have one. She is a registered Yorkshire Terrier, and I love her very much. I have no idea what I'd do without her. She, however, is a healthy, full-grown, 7-pound dog.

So, what's the harm? Somebody just prefers to be shallow and have a tiny little dog they can treat like a doll. Hell, that's not even my main problem. Yes, I find it wrong...but, not the main issue.

The main issue is that these "teacup" dogs are NOT healthy. You may, as a fluke, receive a dog that will live a normal life. But that is not the typical case. Small dogs that are bred normally, from average-sized adult dogs, still are far more susceptible to health problems than large dogs. Many struggle with hypoglycemia, many suffer collapsed tracheas and have to undergo extensive surgery to repair the issues, and, as they get older, many small dogs suffer hip problems from jumping and climbing stairs. With a "teacup" dog, you can add to this list of problems potential liver or kidney failure (if these organs fully develop at all) and musculoskeletal problems which may begin as soon as the dog is able to stand on its own. Of course, bad things can happy to any dog or human. But the rates are much higher in these pocket pooches than in other dogs. If you want to read more about these problems, there are some basic points stated here.

Some dogs are naturally born very tiny. The breeder from whom I bought my yorkie had a small little boy pup named Joshua that weighed only 2 pounds. But, the difference is that she wasn't trying to rip people off with him. She loved her dogs and understood the inherent health problems that could occur with Joshua. Dogs born too small or unhealthy, she kept in her home and raised herself. My mom also has a very small yorkie (that started at 4 pounds) - but that dog was the victim of an abusive home where she was underfed.

So I guess my point is that I find it very sick that anyone would buy a dog, a pet that they have the intention of loving and caring for (or maybe not in some cases), without first doing the research to understand the care that said dog needs, or without bothering to think about what the dog will suffer through.

I guess for some people, though, fashion is more important than giving their dog a healthy life. I just would hope that people would put a bit more thought into such a big decision.

She cracks lightning like a viper's tongue...

2011-02-01T15:46:00.005-05:00

I've gotten a bunch of postcards over the past few days, both from Postcrossing and Swap-bot stuff. I really am fond of the bunny suicides one (I used to own bunnies, so I love them and don't wish them any harm but these cards make me smile), the one with the fishes, and the lighthouses. The lighthouses ones have some very unique lights. I've never been to any of them, but I think the architecture of them is very cool.

I also got some records in the mail over the past few days. The Grinderman "Worm Tamer" 12" was among them. It's such a beautiful glowing green - I can hardly look away from it.

The other records I got are as follows:

Richard Ashcroft - Check the Meaning (7")

Miracle Legion - Little Drummer Boy (7")

REM - The Finest Worksong (12" single)

The Birthday Party - A Fuckin' Rotten Business This (LP)

I ordered a copy of The Birthday Party's first Peel Sessions volume as well. It arrived, but sustained some damage during shipping - one of the edges (about a 2"x1" section) was basically cracked/shattered. This made me feel very bummed out. It was the first time I'd had anything come through and be completely ruined, and it was something I really, really wanted. It was insured, though, so we'll see how that goes. Here's a picture, where you can kind of see the cracking (and my bummed out face) based on the reflection of the light:

So, anyway. The seller has been really helpful with insurance claim stuff and I found another copy that wasn't *too* terribly priced. So hopefully all will be well soon.

This week has just been fairly unawesome. I've been denied for yet another job which basically requires no skills whatsoever - but they chose to pursue candidates with more experience. That's all very frustrating for me. Definitely the most frustrating thing I've experienced in the past several years.

The apartment maintenance guys were also in again to check out this disgusting phantom smell that has been occurring anywhere that there's water in my home (kitchen, water heater closet, shower). They basically are too lazy to do the work to figure out what it actually is, so they have just told me to pour bleach down my drains....which only keeps the smell at bay for 2 days at a time. Nevermind that I don't like keeping bleach in my house because the smell makes me feel violently ill (and it's hazardous). I told them that was not a solution to the problem and they offered up the brilliant idea that, since the smell I'm describing smells like a lovely combo of cigarette smoke and vomit, maybe my neighbors downstairs are smoking and it's wafting up. I don't think this is the case (at least not the whole problem), but I told them that if they were indeed smoking indoors, it should be dealt with since that's against the rules of the renter's agreement. They told me I'd have to call the property manager. I did. "Oh she's busy, let me have her give you a call back in a little bit." End of the day comes....no call. I called again today. "She's actually out of the office today, but I gave her your message yesterday, and she said she'll call you back tomorrow." I'm glad they understand urgency. I wonder what would happen if I'd postpone paying my rent like that? I'm sure there are people with worse problems in the complex, but I already suffer from headaches and frequent nausea. The smell is really not helping with that. Not to mention that I can't stand being in my kitchen, so I've been eating out and ordering take-out for the past month-ish. Yes, this problem has been going on THAT long.

Grrrrr. So those are just a few of my frustrations. The main ones. I'm hoping that February will be a better month for me. But I'm not going to count on it.

More at a later date.

Top Secret

2011-01-27T13:44:00.005-05:00

So after I wrote that thing about sharing my mail, the mail flow for the week kind of slowed down. But here's what I've gotten in the past three days.

I was going to go to San Jose on my All You Can Jet trip, because I've always wanted to visit the Winchester Mystery House. But there were no direct flights, so I had changed my plan to take the train down from San Francisco for one day and then go straight back. Then it turned out I had a really good time in SF, so I never made it to San Jose. Next time!

Fun little card. Endicott is up near Binghampton, a little over the PA border near I-81. I've never been to that area of New York, but I'm sure it's nice.

I love this card from Brisbane. The colors are so bright! I'd love to visit Australia someday, and this card makes me want to go even more. Also, check out the cute stamp that was on the back of it.

My chinese zodiac sign is rabbit, so I've really enjoyed seeing all the cute Year of the Rabbit stamps and postcards for 2011. This stamp is by far the cutest one I've seen, though.

I also got a little something in the mail from a close friend. My little package had a mix CD and some fun extras (note the Trogdor button - so glad the package wasn't burninated by the time it got here).

Said friend has been making mixes every month of the year for the past year or so, and each year ends with a spectacular Christmas mix. So, if you want to, and I promise you want to, you can check out all of the mixes (and download them) here. They're really diverse and there's something there for everyone.

I also got a little package from Fancy Flours. It's super top secret and I can't tell you what it is at this juncture, but it will make another appearance in the future. Guesses are allowed, but you'll have to wait to see the contents until another day. I like their wrapping, though - super cute tissue paper.

That's all the mail I have to share. I also received my Iron & Wine ticket in the mail yesterday, so that was exciting.

I don't really have anything else to share either. Things have been boring and I've been strangely exhausted, so other than running errands and doing housework, I've not done much. More to come in the near future, surely.

I can't f*ck you.

2011-01-24T17:31:00.003-05:00

I've sort of made the executive decision that I'm going to be sharing the postcards I receive on a regular basis. That doesn't mean my blog will become strictly about the mail I receive. I like to do many things in my life and I love sharing them. So I'll continue to share my baking, dumb stories, and concert photos as well. I just really love getting postcards and I get really excited about all the cool images because I'm a dork. So, anyway, we'll see how it goes and it might take me a little while to get into a perfect rhythm of how to do this, but I hope a few people at least will enjoy it. So bear with me! And here's my mail from today!

Tofu Makes Me So So Happy

2011-01-22T18:26:00.005-05:00

I decided to start doing swaps via swap-bot.com again. Mostly postcard swaps, but maybe some other things once I get back into the swing of things again. Anyway, I got some fun postcards in the mail today, so I thought I would share.

Also, in other news, I bought a ticket to go see Iron & Wine in Savannah on April 23. That's my first set plan for 2011. So hopefully, it'll be a good time.

Nothing else new today. More at a later date.

2011....hmm...

2011-01-14T16:06:00.003-05:00

I wish I had some interesting stories to tell or fun news to share. So far, 2011 has been completely uneventful.

I went to Columbia for a day last weekend to do some record shopping and hang out with a friend I hadn't seen since 2006. I met him maybe a week or two before I left Newberry College, so we didn't have much hangout time while I was there. Anyway, it was a nice little trip away from Charleston and, of course, I had a good time.

Other than that, most of my time has been spent hanging around the house and doing job applications. Despite the job applications, I'm still unemployed. It's a very frustrating situation to be in. Hopefully that'll all change very soon.

I don't have any firm upcoming plans this year either. No concerts in the future, no trips to speak of. I'm afraid this is just a boring little update. Should anything awesome arise, I'm sure I will have tons to say about it.

My baby calls me the Loch Ness Monster - two great big humps and then I'm gone...

2010-12-12T23:51:00.005-05:00

It's now been well over a month since I drove up from Orlando (after my Universal vacation) to Atlanta to see Grinderman at the Variety Playhouse. The holidays and my own procrastination got in the way of me doing much blogging. It was an amazing experience, though, so I do want to tell you all about it!

The second I found out they were coming, I made arrangements to buy tickets. I woke up the second they went on sale and bought them. And after that, the event sort of got pushed to the back of my mind. But, as it drew closer, I did get really excited.

Grinderman is the new(ish) project of Nick Cave, of Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds fame. This band departs quite a bit from the style of the Bad Seeds, and it honestly took a bit to grow on me. I'm probably not the target demographic for Grinderman's music. But after several listenings, I learned to love it and now I find myself frequently listening to their two albums while I'm in the car.

I wouldn't say that Nick Cave is my idol or that I have a celebrity crush on him or anything weird like that. But, I do admire him. More than any other artist. Ever. I have a huge amount of respect for the man and all the work he does. In addition to being a musician (since 1973), he is a songwriter, an author, a screenwriter, and an actor. He has also done several lectures. The man is not only talented, he is very intelligent and very eloquent. I am just blown away by the work he produces in each field he has attempted. So, having the opportunity to see Nick Cave live in itself was amazing to me.

Grinderman produce a far heavier sound than that of the Bad Seeds, complete with dirty-old-man lyrics, and though I can get why some people say that Grinderman is a throwback to Cave's days with The Birthday Party, the two bands really are apples and oranges. Both are great, but both are separate entities and it was very easy to see that in live performance.

Anyway, the night of the show, I ended up going by myself. I met someone in the front row and chatted to him for much of the show. We both seemed to be in awe that we were actually standing there. Before the show started, security kept telling everyone in the front row to keep the area of the stage in front of the monitors clear (there was no press area between the crowd and stage, because photography was not permitted). However, I wasn't quite prepared for Nick Cave standing directly in front of me, occasionally brushing me/stepping partially on me with his huge shoes, or towering over me with his huge, lanky frame.

From the very beginning, I was impressed. These guys are pretty old - Cave is now 53 and Warren Ellis, his right-hand man, is 45 - and they still put on an amazing show. They had so much energy and were so into every single movement they made, every note they produced. It was one of the most amazing things (not just concerts) I have ever seen.

I wish I had enough words to really do justice to the experience, but I don't. They were playing in (I think) Nashville the following night. And had I not had obligations at home, I definitely would've made the drive. It was that great.

The only photos I've seen from the show were taken by a fan. There was one fan chosen to be the official photographer at each show. Here are a few of them, taken by Jeffrey Shipman. You can see the rest over at grinderman.com under "images".

So, I guess in closing, my recommendation is to check out the albums and to see the band live if at all possible. I think they're done touring in the U.S. for now, but future tours may occur. I know I'm hoping for a new Bad Seeds album and tour - it would be nice to see both sides.

That's it for 2010. On to 2011! May the beginning of this new year suck significantly less than the first half of 2010.

Wizard Land, Dear Readers...

2010-11-27T12:56:00.004-05:00

After having about 10 days of relaxation at the beginning of November, I headed down to Orlando to meet up with my mom for a week. She was there for a conference that is held every three years in Orlando (of all places), and as is customary, she was staying a week longer to have a vacation of sorts.

While I was there, we took some time to go to Universal, because I hadn't been there in a very long time. In fact, the only proof I have that I may have once been there (when I was 7) is a photo of me on a bike with E.T. in the basket. My mom made me take one when we there this time too. It's fairly embarrassing. But anyway, the point of this was that I didn't remember anything about having been there before.

We spent two days checking out both Universal parks and it was mostly enjoyable. I got to see Doc Brown hanging out by the DeLorean, a cute sculpture of the Lorax hanging out with all his trees, and all of E.T.'s friends.

But the highlight was probably the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I'm not super obsessed with HP. I hated the books when they first came out and just couldn't really get into the whole thing. I started reading all the books last year, though. I'm not finished with the last two. But I found myself really enjoying them, and even though I'm not obsessed, I do have my geeky moments. While I was not crazy enough to stand in line for two hours to visit the wand shop and get my own wand, I did enjoy the little park. I even left with two souvenirs - a sweet girly hoodie and some candy from Honeydukes.

I wish I had more to share about it. The two rides I went on were pretty cool, and the castle was really awesome to walk through. I'd say it's worth checking out. I think it would've been cooler if they'd saved the money, spent more time, and made it into its own bigger theme park. It would've been awesome to see a full-sized Hogwarts (the castle at least).

Anyway, here are a few pictures from the trip:

Chillin' with the conductor in front of the Hogwarts Express.

Hogsmeade

Ohai, Hogwarts!

I'm mildly irritated, but not by Black Friday, but we'll talk about that too.

2010-11-26T21:39:00.004-05:00

A few days ago, I got a friendly reminder e-mail from Borders (the book store) telling me that my rewards earnings would expire the next day. So I figured I would redeem them and buy a movie or two. We don't have Borders stores in the area, so I had to order online. I pondered my choices and finally selected two items. They were in my cart and all I had to do was check out. After many error messages, improper page loads, and three and a half hours of waiting and wishing borders.com would explode in hell, my order FINALLY went through. This was very frustrating, but in the end, the mission was accomplished, so I thought I'd just forget about it. And then I got another e-mail from Borders yesterday.

It reads:

"Hello,

We are reaching out today to our most valued customers to inform you that we received a huge response to our recent reminder for Borders Rewards members to redeem their $10 in Bonus Bucks. Such a huge response in fact, that the Borders.com customer experience was impacted. If you were not able to redeem your $10 in Borders Bonus Bucks online, we apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you. Please look for additional exclusive rewards and incentives throughout the Holiday Season.

Thank you for your patience,

Mike Edwards

CEO, Borders, Inc."

Now personally, after much frustration and time-wasting, I made it through. But this is the dumbest customer relations letter I have EVER seen. Mike Edwards, this is what your letter should have read:

"Dear Borders Customers who give us tons of money each year,

Our site is completely inadequate and non-functional. Fuck you, though.

Mike Edwards

CEO, Borders, Inc."

It wouldn't have been such a slap in the face if you didn't send an e-mail to everyone telling them, "omg go use your rewards coupons RIGHT NOW or else you will lose them forever!" But the fact that you were unable to anticipate the sheer inadequacy of your own site (which is actually pretty miserable to use on a normal day) before you sent this mass e-mail and then, instead of correcting the situation after you realized you messed up, just telling your customers, "It's too bad that we fucked up" just kind of blows my mind.

And now every time a new Borders coupon shows up in my inbox, which is typically at least once a day, I feel so much irritation due to the past offensive e-mail. There's not much I can do about it aside from ceasing to give them my business. But it is what it is.

ANYWAY...

Today was Black Friday. I haven't gone out to actually compete for wares in a few years and I didn't want to today because I've basically been feeling like shit lately. But then a few days ago, I saw a list of fun, limited issue records that were coming out. Among them was a Grinderman 12" which I absolutely had to have. And I didn't get. There were only 500 sent out. My local store got two and neither of them were attainable. However, my BFF across the country scored me a copy, so it's all good. I picked up something for him at my local store, and two things for me. One was a fairly not-in-good-condition copy of The Cure's live show at I-Beam (San Francisco, 1981) - the sleeve has some pretty hefty damage and the record appears to have one or two surface scratches, but we'll see how it goes. I'm not a super serious collector, so I don't care *too* much, but if it's really a total wreck, I will probably take it back and have words, because it did not come to me cheap.

My second purchase was made on a second trip to said record store. I researched a little and decided I wanted it. "It" is a vinyl issue of Clem Snide's "Your Favorite Music". It's a good album and apparently was not released on vinyl before. The one I got is marbled light blue vinyl with a light green label - very pretty. Overall, I was happy with my purchases considering I didn't really plan to purchase anything on Black Friday.

So, I hope everybody had an enjoyable Thanksgiving and I hope no one got trampled trying to buy a new toaster today. Please try to be sane for the rest of the holiday season.

October Travels

2010-11-09T20:58:00.006-05:00

I am not sure what really happened that caused me to be a month behind in sharing some exciting/fun/interesting to me things, but somehow, this is the position I am in. Some of the time I've been spending trying to sort out my home life and get my act together, and some has been spent trying to catch sleep between all the things going on. Anyway, here I am, and although a lot of what I have to say now is about stuff that happened like a month ago, I'm going to try to cover everything over the next few days.

Let's start with the end of October.

October 28, I headed to Nashville to see Rifftrax Live: House on Haunted Hill and meet some Twitter people - one in particular, a friend, Doug (@watchout4snakes), but we also briefly met Tracey (@euphoriafish) there too. I'm new to the meeting Twitter people thing and I'm mostly antisocial, but my AYCJ travels sort of made me a little better at it, so why not. As far as the movie goes, House on Haunted Hill is one of my favorites, and I really enjoyed the entire experience. I would say more about it, but my best recommendation would be to buy the DVD when it's released. Anyway, it was my first time in Tennessee, making it my 6th new state in under 2 months. The drive there was terribly long (about 9 hours), but I saw some amazing scenery along the way. I, sadly, missed the opportunity to stop at the American Museum of Science and Energy (yes, I'm nerdy) on my way back to Charleston, so I'm sure I'll return to Tennessee again in the future for a visit.

When I got back from Nashville, I had one day of rest. Then my friend, Angela, and her boyfriend, Greg, arrived from New Jersey. The next day (Halloween), we headed to Atlanta to see Jónsi (of Sigur Rós fame) at the Tabernacle. It was a long drive there and we were all pretty exhausted from too many accumulated car hours over the previous days. However, we managed to talk ourselves into getting all done up in costumes and going to the show. It was well worth it. It was an amazing show, but also kind of a weird experience for me. Sigur Rós and Jónsi are artists whose music I'm used to listening to by myself and in my own home. I don't recall ever listening to either in the car or ever intentionally with other people. For whatever reason, this music has some weird emotional effects on me. So, it was just strange being in a room full of other people experiencing the performance. But it was a really great one and I'm glad I had the chance to see it. (I have a video from the show, but I haven't uploaded it yet, so I'll have to share that later.) As far as costumes went, lots of people were dressed up - my favorite was a group of people dressed up as characters from Fantastic Mr. Fox - very clever and cute and well done (sadly, no photos of this).

Since these two trips, I've had some more travel and some fun experiences. Those stories, however, will have to wait for another day.

I hope everyone had a happy and safe Thanksgiving today.

AYCJ Summary

2010-11-01T14:07:00.002-04:00

I guess I never actually posted a link to it over here, but my short little story about my JetBlue AYCJ travels posted over on Michael Musto's blog a little over a week ago. Click here to read.

It's Fall! Or Autumn! Or Both!

2010-10-17T22:42:00.004-04:00

My first few days back in Charleston were hot and unpleasant, but since then, it's started to feel a lot like fall. I've been sleeping with the windows open at night and I've had to start bringing my Meyer Lemon tree in at night because the temperature has been dipping down into the low 50s. I'm happy. And because it's getting cooler outside, it means I get to start eating more warm meals and fall-flavored things. And drinking lots of hot beverages.

In honor of all of this, I took time away from doing absolutely nothing to bake some cupcakes. And, let me tell you, they are awesome. They're vegan pumpkin chocolate chip cakes with cinnamon icing. The icing, despite the obviousness of this statement, tastes exactly like cinnamon rolls. The recipe is here for those who are interested.

Trip Stats

2010-10-16T00:52:00.002-04:00

I also wanted to give some brief numbers. Before I forgot. But I did forget, so here's a second post!

The trip was 28 days long.

I visited 5 new cities (but Seattle twice) in 5 new states.

I traveled through 8 airports.

I took 14 flights.

I stayed in 8 homes.

I bought 66 records.

I did laundry a total of 2 times.

I spent less than $400 (excluding my parking fees at Charlotte-Douglas).

I'm home.

2010-10-16T00:23:00.003-04:00

I haven't updated since I've been back in Charleston because, as expected, I was very unhappy upon my arrival. I feel aimless enough because I've spent the last month without a "home" and without any real obligations, so the fact that when I returned back to all of that, I was also returning to a place I pretty well despise weighed very heavily on me.

However, I'm slowly starting to settle back in. I haven't had a full day of rest with nothing planned since I've gotten back. I'm still trying to fit that into my schedule. Much of my time has been spent catching up with friends, unpacking, and cleaning up my apartment.

A mere two days after my return, I attend Kulture Klash here in Charleston. It was the first year that I had made it out and I was kind of excited. Some of the art on display was nice and some of the stuff going on throughout the night was pretty interesting. And I got to hold a chainsaw, so my evening was made.

Nearing The End

2010-10-05T12:58:00.003-04:00

The end of my All You Can Jet month is drawing very near. Tomorrow will be my last round of flights and then I will drive back to Charleston Thursday morning. I have to say, while it will be nice to sleep in my own bed, I'm not looking forward to being back there. I was unhappy there to begin with, and now it just seems like a chore to have to drag myself back into it all.

I spent a few days last week in Austin, TX. I really liked Austin, but I feel like I could have enjoyed it a lot more than I did. My hosts, while good people, were just not very helpful in giving me ideas of what I should see or do. Add that to the fact that I was getting tired and starting to be a little burnt out on hopping around from place to place, and it just makes for a fairly uneventful trip. I did manage to take a short little hike thing and buy some (read: a lot) of records. So, despite the fact that the trip could've been much better, I'll call it a success.

It was hard to put Austin after Salt Lake City, because SLC just was sort of a crazy experience all around. I liked it there quite a bit, but I don't think I'd want to live there.

I had a flight booked from Austin on Saturday morning that would take me to San Francisco, Long Beach, and finally put me in Seattle at about 8 p.m. However, there was a mechanical failure on the plane that was to be flying in from San Francisco the night before, so that morning flight was delayed by like 4.5 hours. This would've made me miss all of my connecting flights. So I spent the entire day Saturday sitting in the airport until I could catch a 5 p.m. flight to Long Beach. Because JetBlue would not help me in any way to get me to Seattle that night, they put me up in a hotel in Long Beach, which wasn't so bad. But I was still irritated about losing a few hours.

When I finally got to Seattle the next morning, I was exhausted but very happy to be back here. I like it here. A lot, really. I have a feeling similar, but of course a little different, to the one I have when I'm in New York. Something clicks and it just feels safe or like home or something. It's really strange. So I'm glad that I decided to come back here and finish out my trip in a city that makes me comfortable. I was even able to see the people who hosted me when I came to Seattle earlier on this trip and catch up on their lives. They're such nice people and I'm so glad I got the chance to meet them. But, even though being here is a happy thing, I know it will be very heartbreaking to leave. Especially to leave and go back to Charleston.

This trip as a whole has been a major event in my life. I've learned a lot, seen a lot, met a lot of new, great people (and learned to have a bit of faith in humanity), and just had a fantastic time along much of the way. Like anything, the trip has had its ups and downs, but in the end, they were all very worth it and I'm glad I didn't just throw in the towel at the first sign of things not going as planned. Looking back, this all came at a time when I really needed it, and it has slightly changed a lot of things for me. It'll be strange to see what happens when the traveling is completely over.

I've got a lot on my schedule for the remainder of 2010. But the one thing I've learned from all of this is that I definitely need to get my shit together. I need to figure out what I'm doing as far as finishing college or going to culinary school goes. I need to make a conscious effort to get in with a particular company that will allow me a job I can tolerate and that will allow me to pay my bills while also giving me the option of mobility in the future so that I can get out of Charleston and go some place that will make me happier. So, yes, there will be fun things to update on, even when all this exciting jetting is out of the way. But, at the same time...I've gotta put my game face on. I think the end of this trip is really the start of some new chapter or something of my life in a way. It doesn't mean drastic change will occur right away, but I have the opportunity to grab a little bit of control back and try to fight for a better situation for myself away from the Southeast.

So Little Time!

2010-09-29T07:05:00.003-04:00

I have neglected to post an update about my whereabouts since San Francisco. After I left California, I headed to Salt Lake City for a few days.

Salt Lake City was a lot of fun. It was nice to have a break from "big city" life for a few days. Most of my time there was spent among nature instead of skyscrapers, and it was just very enjoyable. Even the part where we got stuck on top of a mountain when the brakes went out on the so-called pedophile van (it was just a really sketchy van, ok). Luckily, I had my AAA card with me, so that worked out well in the end.

I had nice hosts in SLC, too, which helped to make the time more enjoyable. And I also met some other CouchSurfers! There were three staying with my first host when I arrived - two guys from Australia and a girl from Houston, TX. All nice people, and I'm very glad I had the chance to meet them.

Tuesday night, I left Salt Lake City and now I'm sitting on the floor at JFK waiting for my plane to Austin, TX. I have no idea what I'm doing in Austin, but I'm sure I'll figure it out as I go. Right now, the first thing I would like to do is nap a little. I wasn't able to sleep on my flight because of screaming babies. I'm not even going to get into my feelings about that. But I'll leave you with a picture of the dodgy, awesome van.

I LOVE THE PACIFIC OCEAN!

2010-09-21T23:52:00.006-04:00

Today, I walked about 50 blocks (that's my guesstimate) here in San Francisco to get to a spot where I was pretty sure I'd be able to view the Pacific Ocean. I was greatly surprised to discover that, not only could I view the Pacific Ocean, I could touch it! And play in it! And revel in its oceanyness!

While I was walking there, I got to a point on a hill where, if I glimpsed down a side street, I could see the ocean on the horizon. I literally almost peed my pants because I was that excited (and I'd had to pee for like the past 30 blocks). Gross, but true, folks. I can't give you enough words to tell you how much I loved this experience and how absolutely amazing it was. But I can give you a few pictures. I took over 100 today while I spent a few hours dicking around by the sea.

The ruins of the Sutro Baths were also available for my exploring pleasure.

Hi, ocean!

Cliffs and something sneaky hiding out...

Hi, Golden Gate Bridge!

Dear Pacific Ocean, I am in you.

More pictures of other things will be uploaded to Flickr or something when I'm back in Charleston. So far San Francisco has been great and I'm glad I chose to come here!

It looks like....

2010-09-20T16:17:00.003-04:00

...placenta. Am I right?!

That's what it says when I log in to CouchSurfing from Long Beach airport.

Portland?

2010-09-19T22:00:00.003-04:00

So I made it to Portland at the end of last week. It was very hard for me to leave Seattle after having had such a good time, having met some awesome new people, seeing some great older people, and figuring out that I actually like Seattle a lot. All of this stuff combined made my trip to Portland very emotionally stressful, and at first, made it seem like something I didn't actually want to be doing.

When I arrived in Portland, I was not feeling so sure about my hosts here. The actual person who agreed to let me be a guest in the house wasn't here, and the other roommates in the house seemed almost as if I was in their way by being here or like they felt awkward about me being there. It was a very unpleasant (mostly because of the emotional leaving-Seattle issues) first evening and it cemented the idea that I shouldn't have left Seattle into my head. But, because I can't leave a place without booking 3 days in advance, I was stuck anyway.

Over the next few days, the hosts I was (and still am as I'm typing this) staying with warmed up to me a little and seemed to be much kinder. It made my stay here a lot better. I think any "badness" was all my interpretation and not a true reflection of the situation. After exploring a little bit, I warmed up to Portland itself too. I've grown to like it here. Still not as much as I liked Seattle. But, it's nice here and I'm glad I decided to make it part of my trip and glad I had the chance to meet these people. I'd like to visit Portland (and my hosts) again someday.

Tomorrow I'll be heading to the airport again and flying from Portland to San Francisco (with a stop in Long Beach in between). I'm excited about San Francisco, but worried that I'll be feeling the same way when I arrive there that I felt upon my arrival in Portland.

After San Francisco, things get a bit messy in my head because there are a few different options that I could take. I just don't know which I really want. But I will have to figure it out very, very soon...so things could get interesting.

I know I said I'd post pictures, but I just haven't gotten to even uploading them. It might end up that I'll wait and do all of that when I get home to Charleston. Who knows. But there are a few pictures to be shared.

So far, the trip is going well and I'm happy that I've been given this opportunity. Like anything, it's kind of bittersweet, but I think it will all work out okay in the end.

Hi, I'm in Seattle...

2010-09-13T16:58:00.003-04:00

My JetBlue flying extravaganza began at the end of last week, and so far, it's been awesome. I left Charleston for Charlotte on Thursday night around midnight and arrived in Seattle a little before 2 p.m. on Friday.

I've been lucky enough to have really awesome hosts (with an awesome house!) and friends here in Seattle that have been kind, funny, overly accommodating, and willing to show me around a little bit. It's been really amazing so far - I love Seattle - and, while I'm excited for the rest of my travels, I know that I'll be very sad to leave here. But I'm sure I'll be back sometime in the not too distant future.

Pictures will be posted somewhere eventually - probably on Thursday because I'll be bored at the airport, waiting for my flights to Portland. And I'll definitely check in with some news from my next destination!

I may be a robot...

2010-09-05T19:27:00.003-04:00

I'm generally not good at the whole Captcha thing, but this is just ridiculous. I got these three back-to-back while hitting refresh to try to get one that I could actually read/type.

2010-09-04T21:59:00.004-04:00

Last night, I met up with my friend Jordan and some of her friends in Myrtle Beach to see Tears For Fears at the House of Blues. I figured the show itself could've gone either way, but I just would've been happy to spend time with Jordan since I hadn't seen her in so long.

I got to her apartment fairly early and we spent some time catching up. Seems like her life is going mostly well for her and I'm glad to hear it. We had a couple of hours to discuss where we both were at in our lives and the things we hoped to change and where we'd like to end up in the near future. It was not only a chance to have a little friend chat, it was kind of therapeutic for both of us.

After our little hangout session, we headed over to HOB. We ended up having to wait about 50 minutes to get a table for a quick dinner because the place was so packed. Luckily, Labor Day weekend usually starts to wrap up tourist season down here. So hopefully the ridiculous-wait-time-for-everything ordeal will end soon as well. After we had a little dinner, we went over the the venue (it's just right across the patio from the actual restaurant) and met up with two of Jordan's friends from work. They happened to be right in the front, so that worked out well for me because I'm short and can never see unless I'm up front.

It was mostly an older crowd, obviously. But that was fine by me, because it meant I didn't have to deal with as many rude people as usual. I did see the occasional little kid there with the parental units. I attribute this to the House of Blues being a family venue and touristy thing. Everybody there seemed to really enjoy the show, and it was VERY good. Really enjoyable. I have no pictures to share - it was one of those "no photography/video" deals. They seemed to very heavily enforce that, but didn't have an issue with the people smoking pot a few rows behind us.

After the concert, I drove back to Charleston and headed straight to bed. It was, overall, a good little trip and a fun show. Now I just have to finish prepping for the big trip coming up!

Jet-setting or Something Weird Like That

2010-09-02T22:23:00.005-04:00

August was a rather unpleasant month for me. Lots of stress, frustration, disappointment and tears. There are still several things that are throwing me off and slowing me down a little bit. I've been contemplating disappearing a lot...just kind of getting away from everywhere and everyone and having some time to sort things out. That's sort of like running away from problems, but, so it is. Anyway, I did have one little good thing so I figured I might share it.

In the middle of last week, I happened to stumble across a particular entry on Michael Musto's blog over on The Village Voice website. You can view that entry here. It describes a contest that Musto was hosting, in which one lucky, hand-selected, 250-word piece would win one lucky participant a JetBlue All-You-Can-Jet pass (more info on what that is over on Mr. Musto's blog).

So I took a few minutes out of my ridiculously shitty weekend to pull together about 240 words. Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised to receive a brief congratulatory e-mail in my inbox slightly after midnight Tuesday morning from Michael Musto himself. I'm not a "writer", but I somehow won the pass and now I have the next month to travel to a number of destinations, starting at the beginning of next week.

I'm happy I won and very excited for the travels - it'll be nice to be away from "home" for awhile. I'm also very nervous, though, to be going to a bunch of new places alone. I don't really have a very good idea of where I'll be going yet or any of the specifics. Who knows if there will even be specifics. But I've been thinking about potential destinations and things I'd like to see. Hopefully this weekend I'll be able to finalize at least a few things and book some flights. I'm sure I'll have more to say about all of this and some photos to share, whether it's day-by-day throughout the trip or when I get back. And of course, there will be the little piece on Michael Musto's blog when my month of travel is over.

So, wish me luck! I'll be off before too long...

A Find

2010-08-22T13:36:00.003-04:00

This is the dress I got while browsing at Clothing Warehouse in Savannah, GA before the Rosi Golan & William Fitzsimmons show. I'm not sure if I like the collar, so I might do something to it. But otherwise, it's a perfect fit and I really like the color. It's an original 1950s piece. Sorry for the less-than-awesome photo, I just didn't have a place to hang it. Since this photo was taken, it's been cleaned and pressed and is looking lovely. When I wear it, I'll share a picture.

Wow.

2010-08-21T15:38:00.007-04:00

It's been approximately two months since my last post, so I guess I took that little break I was contemplating. And now, I guess I'm back for awhile! Stuff has obviously occurred since my last post. Some things will get their own individual gabfests, but I figure I can just skim over a few things.

I went to Folly Beach lots and swam near some dolphins.

I went to South of the Border again. Twice.

I saw Modest Mouse here in Charleston.

I saw Rosi Golan and William Fitzsimmons in Savannah, GA.

I went home to PA to visit my family and clean out my old house a bit. More on this later, but found some fun stuff, including things that were mine when I was a kid (PlayStation, Sega Genesis, some interesting clothing, etc.) and some things in my brother's room (old Macintosh computer & printer, older encyclopedias, skis which won't help me because I don't know how to ski, and a Ouija board oooo).

I didn't go to see Interpol in Charleston this week, because a friend couldn't stick to a commitment.

I visited the neurologist, had an MRI, and got absolutely no answers, AGAIN! Just more drugs. Frustrating.

And I think that brings us up to speed! I have some other stuff to share, of course, but that will come later.

Veg*n Dinner at a Steakhouse? Yes!

2010-06-17T20:45:00.002-04:00

Monday night, Staci and I got all dressed up and went downtown to Oak Steakhouse on Broad for a special event. Chefs Brett McKee (of Oak) and Ken Immer (of gRAWnola fame) collaborated on a Vegetarian/Vegan dinner that was insanely impressive.

The only disappointment that I had with the event was that not all courses were vegan-friendly. All of them were either vegan or had at least something vegan on the plate other than course five. I will say, I was naughty and did try course five. And I paid for it in the morning with a tremendous headache that I can only assume is some sort of sick retribution.

So, I want to do a quick rundown of the courses and the wine pairings and give my thoughts.

FIRST COURSE: AMUSE

Pickled Daikon Ravioli with Preserved Carrot

Crimini Mushroom filled with Fermented Brazil Nut Cheese

Wine pairing: Champagne - Domain Carneros Brut

I was really struck with amazement from the get-go. I love daikon, A LOT. So I was very pleased with the flavors bouncing around in this. Champagne is really not my thing, but it wasn't a bad one. Way to set someone up for failure for the evening, starting out with the champagne.

SECOND COURSE

Grilled Vegetable Ratatouille over Roasted Red Pepper Coulis

Wine pairing: King Estate Pinot Gris

I had never had ratatouille before, but I like the movie, so I figured what the hell. Yeah, I'm a dork. It was fabulous. Such a sort of simple dish from its composition, but so so tasty. And the red pepper coulis was perfect. It didn't hinder the veg in the dish, but it complemented it all perfectly. The wine for this course was my second favorite out of all those presented. Very well-balanced.

THIRD COURSE

Asian Root Noodles with Marinated Shiitake Mushrooms and Cucumber Emulsion

Wine pairing: Davis Bynom Chardonnay

I wasn't super crazy about this dish. The flavors just didn't really hit me right. I don't think it tasted bad - not by any means. But it just wasn't the strongest dish in my mind. The wine was weird; it had a very strange coconut taste to it, which at first I thought was to complement the "coconut emulsion" but then I remembered it was cucumber not coconut, so that felt really strange to me. Wasn't bad, but just wasn't my favorite.

FOURTH COURSE

Ken's Taco Tango

with Micro Arugula and Mango Chutney, a Soft Corn Taquito, Sprouted Quinoa and Mung Beans, garnished with Guacamole and Live Sour Cream

Wine pairing: Voltre Santi Pinot Noir

The explanation of this course is written very strangely. I didn't eat the taco bit of it. That was the part with the sour cream on it. It smelled okay though, and Staci said it was really good. The little taquito/burrito dealie was AMAZING. Seriously. There are very few things I wouldn't do for a repeat of that experience. The filling of it was the quinoa, mung bean bit which also had pecans and carrots. It was this awesome texture...kind of chewy, but delightful. And the taste was just amazing. Bravo to Ken for that one!

The wine was good. I don't really like reds. It had a very plummy taste, though, which pleased me. Staci likes reds and she was dying over it, so I have to assume it was fantastic.

FIFTH COURSE

Brett's Eggplant Parmigiana

Wine pairing: Francis Coppola Directors Cabernet Sauvignon

Here is where I fell from grace. Yes, fail on my part. But I kind of wished they'd have made it for me without the cheese. The hostess assured me that this was not possible. Who knows. The eggplant was perfectly cooked, but I expected nothing less than that. The sauce was what got me. It was the most amazing red sauce I have ever had. Chef Brett really outdid himself on that beautiful, tasty sauce of goodness. Seriously. I wish I could describe it better. It was spicy but had the perfect balance of tomato acidity. It made my tummy happy.

The wine was nothing special. I say this because I don't remember anything about it.

SIXTH COURSE: SYMPHONY OF RAW DESSERTS

Blueberry-Cardamom Vegan Ice Cream with a Crystallized Ginger Crisp

Chocolate Brownie Torte Garnished with White Chocolate Drizzle

Lime Shortbread with Citrus 'Anglasie'

Wine pairing: Nivoli

The presentation of this dish was really cute. It succeeded in making me ooh and ahh over its prettiness, while also making me want to shove it in my mouth. So, great success! The blueberry-cardamom ice cream had a weird texture on its own - I was not liking it at first - but then Staci told me to sort of use the ginger crisp thing to scoop it up a little. Omg. That was the key. Perfect combination, and it made me happy because, not only did it taste amazing and have a great texture, but the two parts of it relied upon each other to make it great, and I like that. The brownie torte was delish, but that's a given...it was a brownie torte...come on. It was missing its white chocolate drizzle, but I hate white chocolate, so it was no great loss for me. the lime shortbread thing was good. Very simple and light, and I was glad that I ate from right to left across the plate and got to it last. It made me feel like I had completed the meal properly and in the right order. The Nivoli was fantastic - definitely my favorite, but I'm a sucker for sweet dessert wines. I had never even heard of Nivoli before then, so I was pleasantly surprised when I got to it.

Aside from the food, the company was wonderful. We met a few really sweet people and not only was it a networking experience among the health community, it was an opportunity to just chat and be social. I enjoyed it.

All in all, the dinner was perfect. I couldn't have hoped for anything more than I got, especially considering I was eating at a "Steakhouse". I was very lucky and happy to have taken a part in this event, and if they should have a part two (hint hint, guys..get on it!), I will definitely be in attendance.

Inbal Pinto Dance Company's "Oyster" and Why I Like Wandering

2010-06-13T01:09:00.002-04:00

Tonight I went to my second Spoleto event. I was excited the moment I'd heard about this one, so the fact that I was able to see it really delighted me. It was Oyster - a dance production put on by the Inbal Pinto and Avshalom Pollak Dance Company. In all of the summaries I'd read, it was to be a theatrical dance production loosely based on Tim Burton's short story, The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy. But apparently Avshalom Pollak says that's not true. I will tell you my thoughts on this in a minute. But first let me tell you what I thought.

I am not super good at interpreting artsy things - I just know what I like and what I don't like. So, that being said, the "storyline" of this was, in some places, very difficult for me to follow. I'm thinking it didn't have a fast and sure storyline, but every now and then I'd pick up on something symbolic or some little part of a story. Even though I'm not a genius and probably missed a bunch of stuff, I LOVED this show. It was really fantastic. The costuming was amazing and in general, the thought put into the visual aspects, though they were mostly minimal, just blew me away. There were two particular parts of the show that gave me goosebumps. My absolute favorite was a dance with the dancers in tuxedos that had their arms sewn in, so as to appear that they were armless. I would love to show you a video of it, but taping was prohibited and there's nothing online that shows the dance with the actual music that runs with it in the production.

The music choices for the show were interesting, but they all did fit perfectly. At times, I felt like I was in a Woody Allen film, but then other times I got the Danny Elfman feeling. The music was all very emotionally charged in the way it matched up with the dance - it was chosen to create a specific feeling and mood, and it worked perfectly.

The dancers impressed me to no end. I always find classic ballet kind of boring. Yes it's beautiful, and yes those dancers have skill. But in ballet, most poses and movements are very fluid - they flow perfectly linear with the body's structure and natural muscle movement. I don't think ballet dancers are talentless - what they do is difficult and takes practice. But I was impressed by the dancers in Oyster because many of the movements they made were not natural to the human body. They were pushing the limits of their bodies and bending to create shapes that do not typically occur while doing it all through atypical movements. Aside from being amazingly fun to watch, it makes me admire them greatly for the control they are able to execute over their own bodies. I can't imagine the practice hours they put in.

Now about the Tim Burton issue. I would have to say that I don't know if I necessarily could separate this from something inspired by Tim Burton's work. It is the automatic parallel I would've drawn even if I had not read that that was the case. The characters possess a strange, dark beauty that is very akin to the characters that Tim Burton dreams up. The costuming was very much in the manner of Tim Burton as well - eccentric and exaggerated. I got a major Burton vibe the entire way through - it was dark and eerie, but in a comforting way - the same comfort I feel when I watch Nightmare Before Christmas, for example. But I also see the circus/carnival inspiration that has been brought up in some places. I can't say what thoughts went into creating this production, but I can say it was very well done, and something everyone should see if they get the chance. It was fairly short - only one hour - and there were only 11 dancers in the production. Worthwhile and very impressive.

You can see some photos and a video here and you can read City Paper's review of the show, which gives some details about the various characters and dances, over here.

I enjoyed the short stroll to my car after the show - when I'm wearing heels, I like to hear the sound echo off the buildings. Walking downtown on summer nights is among my favorite experiences. It's another comfort to me. It's balmy and there's sometimes a light breeze going. I like seeing people walking down King Street and making up little thoughts about where they were and where they're going. I'm in love with the glow of the lights and the passing cars. I used to do this in New York, too. I'd walk St. Marks Place and the blocks around Astor Place station late at night. It made me feel safe. I enjoyed the solitude, but at the same time, I felt very connected to everything going on around me. I've been missing New York a lot lately - my time there was a very happy one - so I think walking in Charleston at night is sort of my trying to get back something I can't have. But so far, it's filling the void, and it's a little pleasure I like to enjoy every now and then.

Not much else has been going on. My medicine has not been effective in preventing my headaches, so this week, my doctor changed my dosage to triple what it was before. I still have headaches and I'm just so tired. The medicine wipes me out and I sleep for an average 15 hours a day, which is ridiculous. I want my energy back! So I hope this all subsides very soon. Today so far I've been awake for 12 straight hours, so I guess that's a good start. If I start feeling better, I might get the chance to make a go of this roller derby thing! So let's hope things clear up.

First Spoleto Experience

2010-06-05T20:12:00.003-04:00

So I've lived in Charleston since the end of 2006, but I've never made it to a Spoleto Festival event. I thought why the hell not do it now, before I get out of this place. So I pulled a few strings and got tickets to the two shows I wanted to see, the first of which was last night.

I saw on the calendar, "Die Roten Punkte". I'm a German major (i.e., nerd) so I was kind of curious. The description given on the Spoleto website is as follows:

Die Roten Punkte (the utterly dysfunctional pairing of German siblings Otto and Astrid Rot) became an instant household name in Europe after topping the charts in Germany and Poland with their 2005 hits “I’m in a Band” and “Best Band in the World.” Described as "inspired, brilliantly executed lunacy…a lipstick-smeared, tantrum-loving, sonic collision between Plastic Bertrand, Kraftwerk and early Ramones,” Die Roten Punkte are unforgettably unique. Their songs are ridiculously infectious and their live show is one of the most irreverent and hilarious gigs you are ever likely to see.

Okay, so it sort of insinuated that there would be a comical aspect to the show, but otherwise it describe it as a normal concert. And that's kind of what I was expecting. In great luck I was though, because the folks at City Paper pretty much spoiled the surprise with their review. Thanks, guys. To be fair, I still wasn't entirely sure what to expect.

The show was really great - loved every minute of it (okay, maybe there were 5 or so questionable minutes, but still). Read the City Paper review, because I really can't give a more accurate description than they did. I think it's important that they noted that the two may not actually be German, even though they subtley tiptoed around it. There were a few accent slips that I noticed in the show, and of course some very overdone pronunciation. But if the two aren't German, they at least do a very good job of pretending to be.

Here's a little video interview with them. Gives you a little idea of the kind of humor in the show.

It was one of those things that you could only enjoy if you didn't take yourself too seriously. The show kind of poked fun at all the little weird cultural subsets, and if you're not a person who can laugh at yourself a little, then it's really not for you. But I still recommend it...highly.

Don't laugh, ok.

2010-06-04T14:10:00.007-04:00

So last night I went out with a friend and some of her friends. It was interesting and fun, and it was nice to meet some new people. The topics of conversation varied greatly throughout the evening and at one point, Staci and I re-discussed something that has been reoccurring.

We had the City Paper open in front of us and there was an article about Charleston's roller derby team and some parade thing that they did for the opening of a show at Redux art studios. And once again I told her, "I want to do that." This has happened probably a good ten times over the past few months and at first it was a huge joke. Staci usually gives me a hearty, "I think you could take 'em!" and then I laugh in her face and explain that these girls are really tough. I'm not a super skinny girl, but I've got really thin arms and I'm not the kind of girl you usually see shoving people out of her way while on roller skates. I just don't think anyone would look at me and say, "oh yeah, she looks like she could be a roller girl." Yes, it is laughable. But I think with a little effort I could do it.

Seriously...tough girls.

While the past few months had seen this idea as a joke, I keep thinking about it. I'm actually really awesome at skating...well...I used to be, I'm sure it would take some practice to get back with it. And I think it'd be fun. So I told Staci last night that "I'm going to do it." I don't know if I really will, but...I really kind of want to. I'm not even sure how one gets involved in this situation. But I'm going to find out. (...after I go to the gym and buff up a bit so I don't get my ass kicked by default...)

Photo borrowed from here.

Netflix Killed The Video Store?

2010-06-02T14:02:00.003-04:00

So it's June already. I'm a little shocked, but glad we're one month closer to being done with this year.

I've been having trouble finding a job. I'm really not so surprised. There's not much available at the moment that I'm qualified for, and the food and beverage industry, which is where most of the availability is, is not forgiving in the way of taking time off. That is an issue anyway. I do not feel comfortable getting a job and then asking for 2-4 off to return home to Pennsylvania, which I have to do in August for my MRI and neurologist stuff. When they ask me about scheduling and I say I'd need this time off, they ask why. When I tell them why, it's an automatic strike against me because I'm "sick". I'm not into lying to get my way, so unfortunately I suck at this. It's frustrating, but anyway...

This all leaves with me with a lot of free time. Lots of it is spent sleeping since the new medicine has kicked in. It makes me very tired and often dizzy for awhile after I take it. Not even so much dizzy as just unable to balance myself. I find myself really struggling to not trip or fall over. Luckily, that side effect only lasts for about an hour, but that adds up to a total of two hours of my waking day. So I've been spending a lot of my down time at home, watching movies and stuff on Netflix.

Now, please don't get me wrong - I love Netflix. It's an amazing convenience and I like being able to have so many choices. But I kind of miss going to the video store. I still have a Blockbuster card and everything, so it's not like I *can't* go. But since I'm paying for Netflix and have like a combined 600 movies between my two queues, I feel like I shouldn't go to the video store because it's fiscally irresponsible. So I miss it a lot. It used to be an adventure. When I was living with someone, we'd go out and take a long walk or go to the beach or do some other stupid, but entertaining activity. And then late at night before we went home, we'd stop by Blockbuster. It was always an ordeal choosing movies. We spent a ridiculous amount of time looking around and I remember I was always wearing something like sweatpants or beach clothes or something unfancy. The video store was part of a whole relaxing, laid back day.

So I think sometime this weekend when I'm lounging around, I'm going to go and just rent one movie. And not bother getting dressed up to leave the house. And just relax. Just the thought of it puts a smile on my face!

In other news, I'm going to challenge myself to blog every day or at least every other day. I *always* say this, but I'm really going to try, and I think it'll be good for me because if I've got nothing, it'll force me to go out and find something. I'm sure a lot of what I have to say will be trivial, but that's the beauty of it being *my* blog. Oh yes. So here's hoping it works out well! We'll see what tomorrow brings.

2010-06-01T18:19:00.005-04:00

I was going to write a legitimate blog post, but then I came across this.

I just can't write 'em this good, folks.

Crazy Dreams

2010-05-26T23:39:00.002-04:00

So I started my new medication Monday night, and while it doesn't necessarily make me feel anything that it says it might (like dizzyness, drowsiness, or nausea), I think it may be the culprit behind a very active dream life.

My primary care physician (I have two - this one I haven't seen in like 2 months) asked me about my dreaming habits the last time I saw him, and I told him that lately I haven't been dreaming. His response was that everyone dreams every night, but if those dreams occur in REM sleep, you won't have any remembrance of them upon waking, almost as if they never happened. I don't know anything about the psychology of sleep, so I don't know if this is 100% true, but I'm more inclined to believe him than I am any other random person off the street.

I continued with this cycle of dreamlessness until Monday night. My dreams Monday were fairly average - just boring event dreams. I have a lot of these. They are usually about conversations with people or just time spent with people. When I wake, I have very vivid memories of the looks on their faces, the emotions they expressed, and the exact words they spoke.

When I'm not having these boring dreams, I'm usually digging into my small collection of recurring nightmares. I've had many in the past about being at the beach or at a beach house, weird things happening, and suddenly, waves start coming in. I retreat towards some sort of shelter, but they get bigger and bigger until we're dealing with an inescapable tsunami ordeal. Obviously, I wake before I meet my demise.

The rest of my recurring nightmares are all sort of common. The settings are different (although always luxurious), but they all have the same problem and the same feeling.

The one I had last night was one where I'm living in a mansion with my mother. Some of the rooms in the mansion (usually just the kitchen and the dining room) are the same as in our actual house. But the rest of this mansion is larger than any I've ever seen. It has ornate blue, red and gold carpets, grand staircases, beautiful victorian furniture, old lamps and chandeliers with old lightbulbs, a crappy old TV from the 70s (no idea), balconies, etc. On one wing of the house (if you were standing in front of it looking at it, it'd be on your right), is my bedroom - small, in girly colors with a more modern feel, and with only one tiny lamp so it's quite dark. The right wing of the house extends quite far (in symmetry with the left wing), but I never see anything else in it, only my bedroom.

I always leave my bedroom in these dreams to find my mother standing in the hallway across the big rotunda type room in between the two wings, where her huge bedroom and a library, among other rooms, are. She's always wearing clothes like she'd wear to go to work and telling me she has to leave in ten minutes or so. I acknowledge her and she tells me to behave, be careful, dinner's in the fridge, etc., as moms do. Off of this "rotunda" space, towards the front of the house is a large wall of glass looking out over the property in front (a huge garden) and a set of 20 or so stairs about 15 feet wide-ish leading down to a living area where the 70s TV and a pretty red velvet couch are hiding around the corner. When my mother leaves, I always settle into the room on this little couch. There's usually a black and white movie on TV, and occasionally I'm happily chatting away on the laptop.

And then it starts. There's this feeling. It feels like there's something there that I can't possibly escape from, that it's getting closer, and that it can see me but I can't see it. It's not so much a person or a ghost but some sort of force (I visualize it as a big, black, cloudy blob). I always stand up from where I'm sitting and look around as if I'll see it peeking out from my mother's room or the dark hallway near my bedroom, but I never see this thing. I usually rush around and try to gather some important things, like my cell phone or a coat or my keys. While doing this, I always try to contact someone. It's always one of two people, people that I trust and feel very safe with in real life, and I usually reach them on the phone long enough for them to tell me to just be calm and that it's probably nothing, but that if I feel that I need to, I should leave. At this point the feeling of this thing exponentially increases - it's much closer and I can almost see it or feel it near me. And then I wake up.

Every single time it happens like this with only minor changes. Sometimes I don't have the whole dream, only part of it. Sometimes it's in a swanky hotel or a museum. But in the end, I always feel like there's no way I can escape, like I'm trapped there with this thing.

This dream always leaves me a little rattled, even though it's not particular terrifying. It just gives me a very strange feeling. I'm sure I could psychologically relate it back to my feelings about the house I grew up in, of which I am now the sole inhabitant. I've always had strange feelings in that house as well that make me very uneasy. When my brother passed away, that feeling was intensified, and I often find myself looking over my shoulder when I'm moving about the house.

I never know what to think about all of this. Am I one of those "crazy people" who believes in ghosts and spirits and all of that stuff? Yes. I am. Do I believe that all ghosts/spirits are out to harm people or have the capacity to harm people? No. But I do think that there are surely some "entities" out there that possess the manifestation of energy to do so.

So there you have it. I believe in crazy things. And have crazy dreams. Maybe they mean nothing, or maybe they mean something kind of important. I really have no idea, but I find it all very interesting and want to get in the habit of journaling and analyzing my dreams to maybe learn a little bit about them or myself or something. I'm sure if something really interesting comes up in the future, I'll share it.

2010-05-24T23:09:00.004-04:00

Hi again. I'm back in Charleston as of yesterday, so it seems sort of an appropriate time to give a little update.

I left PA feeling just as weird as when I arrived. It was just an unsettling trip - things are a little (ok a lot) hectic at home, and it was just overwhelming. I didn't absolutely hate it or anything, but it left me wishing I was back in Charleston.

I really didn't get a whole lot further with the doctor situation than I was before either. I have to return home for an MRI in July and am on some new meds, but other than that, nothing much has taken place in that field. I know things don't happen overnight, but it's very frustrating to be constantly playing a waiting and guessing game.

My trip back to Charleston was a good one. It was again split between two days, with a stop in Lynchburg, VA for the night. A friend of mine made a map for me, so I followed his directions the entire way home. It was a fun drive with lots of fun surprises popping up along the way. I had my first ferry experience, got to see a few nerdy Civil War things and took in some nice scenery along the way. I just wish I'd had more time to stop and poke around at places, but I'm sure I'll get the chance again in the future.

Ferry! You just can't see it because I suck at taking pictures. But fun, nonetheless.

The first day was definitely my favorite. While the second was nice, it brought me back into South Carolina, which is pretty much a really boring state, and which I'm not fond of in any respect at this point. Although I left PA excited to return to my apartment, as soon as I crossed the state line into SC, that feeling showed up again - the one that tells me I'm in the wrong place and that I'm making a big mistake. I still tried to enjoy the drive, and did have a little fun.

In North Carolina I saw more turtles than I've ever seen in my life before. Turtles walking into and sleeping in the road because it was warm with the sun beating down. The road is actually a really bad place for turtles. So I moved three of them that were at places where I could easily stop. Unfortunately, I am not a turtle superhero or anything, so many little shelly creatures were left basking in the road. It was kind of sad.

My first little turtle buddy. We bonded. Ignore camera strap (again, awesome picture).

My apartment feels really foreign to me since I've gotten here. It feels like a new place - I'm uncomfortable and don't know what to do with myself so I've been milling around and just cleaning up little things to pass the time. I feel awkward sitting in the living room, awkward sleeping in my bedroom, and even more awkward outside among my neighbors.

When I left for PA, I'd hoped that while I was there I could settle some things, that I would come up with some answers and figure out what I should be doing and where my life is going. I'm in some weird state of limbo and I'm not digging it. But unfortunately, nothing really resolved itself. The first thing that has to snap into place is the medical situation - I need to know what's wrong and what I have to do to fix it before I can make any big decisions, and there are a lot of big decisions to be made.

If anything, more things fell onto my pile of "what the hell is going on" type things while I was home. My mother told me maybe a week before I arrived that she was moving. After she and my father split, she and I stayed in the house I grew up in, which is owned by my father's parents. Due to family drama, she has decided she can no longer be there. I understand this, after all I'm trying to get away too. But walking into the house and seeing all the boxes really cemented the idea that she was moving. It's not like the house will be gone; my grandparents still own it and I think my father will be helping to take care of the little problems it has (old house). But I'm the only resident there now. When I go home, I will be there by myself in a house with 4 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, a "playroom", kitchen, laundry room, dining room, and enclosed porch. I guess under different circumstances, I'd be happy to have a big house to myself, but the house itself and its energy (I'm not a new age hippie freak, but things have energies and "feelings", ok) leave me feeling very unsettled. It's too quiet, hidden back in the woods, and I always feel like I'm being watched. I'm just not sure how it'll be when I'm there alone, but at the same time, I don't want to sacrifice the last connection I have to the home I grew up in.

So that's it for personal news. It's a little boring, but really nothing else is going on in my life at the moment. I hope to get out of town a few times in the next couple of weeks and I've got two concerts coming up in July. But until then, nothing to share!

I like Vetiver. The plant and the band. But here, the band.

2010-05-12T14:13:00.004-04:00

When I'm in the car, I listen to a lot of music that I don't really listen to otherwise. For the most part, this is because I have a lot of CDs (500+) and don't have a stereo set up right now or the patience to import all of them to iTunes. So when I go on trips, it's a chance to revisit things I haven't heard in awhile for whatever reason. I keep adding CDs to my car until it's a total mess and then I have to reevaluate my choices.

One CD (which is digitally available to me, but I just haven't listened to recently) had been floating around my car for awhile without me ever listening to it. It's by this band called Vetiver. I saw Vetiver live opening for The Shins in what I think was 2007. I never actually saw The Shins on stage - it could've been a tape recorder playing back for all I knew - because I am so short and once the place filled up, I couldn't see anything. So Vetiver was all I got visually that evening. Everybody in the room seemed disinterested, including the boyfriend I went with to the show. But I had heard of the band, yet never heard their work, so I was kind of curious. My attentiveness paid off. The other people in the room that heard this band live seemed to be a bit less than thrilled. I liked them though. And it led to me checking out their albums, and I'm glad I did - they're not quite as fantastic live as recorded, but such is life.

Their first album (2004) is self-titled. And really good. For me, it's a very wintery album - dead trees and falling snow. That could just be because most of my memories of listening to it are from winter of 2007. Anyway, it's really good. Mostly acoustic and heavyish strings.

There was an EP released in 2005 which I have never heard, and then the second album. The second album is what I listened to on my trip through Pennsylvania a few days ago. It's rare that I'll listen to the same album over and over again, but it just had been a long time and I was surprised to find how much I like this one. It's called To Find Me Gone (2006) and it's a little more musically dense than the first album. While a lot of the acoustic sound is still there, it's just layered out a bit more with some electrics and some more production. This album is one of few that have not only an emotional effect on me but also a clear physical one. It's just very soothing to me - my breathing slows and becomes far more steady and controlled and I just am calm and such. I blame it on the repetition - the progressions are purely repetitive, but pretty much in a good way.

The first two albums were by far my favorite. I own the third one, Thing Of The Past (2008), which is an album of covers, but I've only listened to it once. To be fair, it could grow on me if I give it another chance, but it just didn't grab onto me from the first listen. They released another EP in 2008 of more covers, called More Of The Past, which I've also never heard. Their latest release is another album, which I just haven't gotten around to yet, called Tight Knit. I probably will check that out in the near future.

Anyway, the point of all this is that I really like this band and you should check them out. They supposedly belong to the "freak folk" genre, which I'd never heard of until I just looked up some info about their discography. I'm not good with genres, and I don't like them. I'm also not good with descriptions of what bands sound like, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that *to me*, Vetiver sound like Sam Beam (Iron&Wine) + Nick Drake + Devendra Banhart (who is featured on Vetiver's albums). But mostly, they sound like Vetiver to me. So check them out.

I have a hard time choosing "favorite" songs from the two albums I know, because I like them all. But I tried to, and there aren't any YouTube videos or anything for them anyway. So I'll leave you with links to a handful of those videos where it's just pictures or the album cover. That way, you at least get the recorded versions and get them clearly, and you can click them at your own discretion.

Oh Papa (from Vetiver)

Luna Sea (from Vetiver)

Double (from To Find Me Gone)

Rolling Sea (from Tight Knit)

My Google Maps Experiment: Part 2

2010-05-10T00:07:00.002-04:00

I woke up on the second day of my trip feeling unrested and wanting to pull the covers back over my face and just forget about the rest of the drive. Being in a hotel room for the night freaked my dog out a little. This doesn't usually happen - I think it had something to do with the fact that the room was so huge and open and that the air conditioning unit sounded like a helicopter. She wouldn't sleep on the floor, so I let her up onto the bed with me. Most of the night she did alright, but from about 4 a.m. on, she repeatedly crossed from one side of the bed to the other, paying no mind to my legs in the middle. While I showered, she curled up on the floor and finally slept just like she normally does.

We left Ashland, VA at about 10 a.m. and supposedly had a drive of 6 hours and 15 minutes ahead of us. I had very tiny stretches of interstate to go through, and then another slightly longer one on I-81 (it was still relatively short), but once I crossed into Pennsylvania, it was all country driving. I have to say it was the most enjoyable drive I've ever had through Pennsylvania. I loved it, and will probably do it in the opposite direction when I go home.

I don't think I had been to any of the places I passed through in PA (until the small towns close to my home). My favorite part of this entire trip was passing through Tuscarora State Forest and the surrounding area. It's just so beautiful there - living in Charleston, and really the South in general, has got me missing good views. I miss vast, sweeping landscapes. And I got a lot of them as I drove through the mountains. I had some nice ones in northern VA too - there were rolling hills and vineyards all around. But they were no competition for what PA had to offer.

It was a great experience with a few really terrifying moments. Driving on those curvy, winding mountain roads was a really fun time. Until you realize you have to go down what you came up. These roads are on such steep inclines, which isn't such a horrible problem, but with the curves and the signs warning you that 20 mph is probably the speed you should be going, it was just a bit trying. A distance of less than a tenth of a mile was increasing my speed by up to 15 mph just coasting. Multiple times I hit 65 mph while trying to maintain 45 and thought to myself 'Oh yeah, I'm gonna die. Just like in the movies. With the car and the cliff and oh god.' But it all turned out well.

I didn't stop anywhere along the way, not that there would've been many places to stop. What I was seeing while I was moving was good enough for me. I didn't get lost but once, and the mistake was easy enough to fix. I made it home about right on time according the the time estimate Google gave me.

So it was a fun trip. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Meaning I'd do the same route again (minus Franklin) or I'd do the random Google Maps thing again. I'd just split my distances better between days next time.

Now that I'm home in PA, things are very weird. There's a lot going on and it just feels strange to me. I always get a really awful feeling when I arrive at a place I call home (meaning I've lived there for probably a year or more). It's a feeling of disappointment in the place and also in myself. It's not that I've done anything particularly to create this disappointment, it just happens. It's almost like a feeling that I'm doing everything wrong in my life combined with a feeling that I shouldn't have come here. Irrational and without explanation, it usually comes and goes within my first day or two of being here. So we'll see how it goes. I've got that feeling combined with feelings surrounding the changes in my family and all the events happening. I don't like being moody/mopey/less than elated, so I'm really hoping things will straighten out in the near future. I need some kind of definite indication of where my life is going next. I have a good idea, but a guarantee would be good.

Tomorrow morning is my first doctor's appointment to get the ball rolling on finding a solution for all the stupid issues I've been having. I'm kind of nervous - also a familiar feeling. I always feel nervous when I go to a doctor's office. When I was a kid, it wasn't uncommon for my parents to assume I was making up whatever was wrong with me. I will say, just like every kid, I faked sick to play hookie a few times in my younger years. But generally, I don't say anything about being sick or experiencing discomfort unless it's really, really bothering me. I guess my nervousness surrounding doctor's visits is that they'll take the same attitude my parents did when I was younger - that I'm making it up. I've only had it happen once, when all tests came back negative, and a change in doctors quickly changed the diagnosis. So anyway, I hope it goes alright. We shall see.

Nothing much is going on otherwise. Surely something will come up before the week is over though.

My Google Maps Experiment: Part 1

2010-05-07T23:06:00.001-04:00

So, as I mentioned in my last entry, I was playing around with Google Maps a bit and debating taking a different route from Charleston to central PA than my usual I-95 drive.

When I got this idea, it was because I was bored with seeing the same thing all the time and didn't think I could handle 13 hours straight in the car this time around. There was no great formula behind creating an awesome map and I didn't work around any experience - I had never traveled most of what I selected so I had no idea what I would encounter along the way, and I didn't particularly have a list of cool things that I wanted to see that influenced my map choices. Basically I dragged the little blue line around to roads I hadn't been on that maybe went through some towns I wanted to see and that weren't interstates, but that at the same time didn't double my total trip time or anything drastic like that. Maybe once I get home, I'll share the map if I remembered to save it.

I was very nervous about taking some random route. It's not that I'm not a good driver, or that I can't read maps or anything. I wasn't able to upload the map I ended up with to my GPS unit, and while the world has long functioned without GPS, it really is a great advantage over trying to read directions AND drive at the same time. Had I had a navigator, I would've had no qualms about this at all. But I was looking at the final directions and seeing turns and merges and such that occurred back to back every couple hundred feet for a small stretch and I was just thinking of the impending disaster. This stretch did, in fact, kick my ass, but not because I didn't read the directions.

Anyway, today was the first day of my drive. I think I traveled like 500ish miles - not the best budgeting on my part, but I was convinced I needed to get past Richmond, VA on day one. Don't know why, just felt it necessary. I headed up US 17 for most of the trip. As I passed through Myrtle Beach, I had a really weird experience.

A few years ago, while I was living with the at-the-time-boyfriend, I had this dream. It happened twice, and then never again. But in this dream we (he, I, and a bunch of my friends from school) were in Baltimore, MD. Inner Harbor, to be specific. And we entered this nightclub. The club itself was two floors and mostly glass, so you could look out over the harbor area from all directions in the club. This club was called Club Kryptonite. I was a little shocked today when I was sitting at a red light and gazed past the stupid Planet Hollywood on the corner to see this large coliseum-looking thing with a 'K' inside of the shape that is on Superman's costume/uniform/whateverthehell. This was the logo from the dream. In fact, the door/entrance of the building looked the same. Large pillars, sort of dramatic. The club itself wasn't at all right...but it just took me aback a bit. I had never been to this section of Myrtle Beach before, so it wasn't some vague memory hanging out or anything. Nor do I think "oooo I'm super psychic!" I just think it was a weird coincidence.

Right. So I carried on with the US 17 thing through North Carolina. Very pretty, NC. I think I could live in various parts of the state for maybe 3 months at a time in each place. (This is an estimate.) There are lots of big, beautiful rivers and lots of trees - mixed forest type trees, not just the same boring trees over and over. Don't get me wrong, I like trees from the palm family, but it's getting a little monotonous. North Carolina has lots of evergreen type things. And they also have some cypress trees growing around the edges of certain bodies of water. I like cypresses A LOT.

North Carolina seemed to go on forever, and then I got to Virginia. My directions in VA (which were generated by Google Maps, not written by me, so prob sort of my fault but wtf Google?) ended up being sort of confusing at best. It also didn't help that my only indication that I'd actually entered Virginia were the "Speed checked by radar" signs. The long stretches of road that wound through some random forests were nice. Loved them. It was shady, there were hardly any cars on the road, and it gave me the chance to (reasonably safely) have a little car commercial fantasy and see how my new(ish) car handles on slightly curvy/banky roads. I haven't had a lot of chance to figure that out before today, but now I know and it's all good. With shitty alignment and tires that desperately need replaced, she still drives like a dream. *sigh*

Okay so the major problem occurred surrounding the following directions.

In theory, these are great. I looked over everything while I stopped to let the puppy walk around, and I had it down. I was ready to go. NCarolina 11 went fine - very fun. There were no signs ANYWHERE I could find indicating that I was ever on Beachwood Blvd. until I was far past where I supposedly should've been seeing these signs. I hadn't seen a single US-258 N sign. Until I saw at the same time a US-258 S sign. I got temporarily distracted by this, but quickly righted myself and was back on this 19 mile stretch to the actual US-258 S I should've been turning onto. Except...when I got there, that sign was not there. It was somewhere else. And it wouldn't lead me to the weird branches of 58 I was supposed to be hitting. Believe me. I tried. And tried. And tried some more. I retraced myself for a good 25 minutes before I said fuck it and tried it my own way. I ignored the "Business" part of the directions and figured eventually I'd get where I needed to go. Not so. I ended up somewhere residential with no signs for anything that I could find in any direction. And I was so confused that I couldn't get my directions straight. So, throwing in the towel, realizing that there was very little driving left until I arrived at I-95 to get me to my hotel, I turned on the GPS unit. I figured it could at least get me the hell out of that shitty little town (Franklin, VA btw) and get me back onto some sort of track. That would've been great except I was getting ZERO satellite contact. I spent another 20 or so minutes just driving around trying to get some sort of connection. I got nothing until I accidentally ended up in the middle of an industrial park for some steel mill or something. Luckily, the GPS chose the same route as my Google Maps one. Except that little section of directions I showed you was about halved. Half of those steps did not exist. Maybe I'm just blind, or selectively perceptive, but it only took me three of these steps via GPS to get where I needed to go. It was not a big huge super awful ordeal - but frustrating nonetheless. Patience can be, but sometimes is not, my greatest quality. My first 9 hour day ended up being an 11.5 hour day. I did get to stop and check out a few more things than usual, which was nice. But 11.5 hours was a bit much for me at this point.

Tomorrow will be shorter. Despite the slight temptation to just get home, I'm going to finish this out the way I planned tomorrow. And it'll be fine. I refuse to get ridiculously "bad" lost!

Anyway. I'm babbling. This is really of no consequence, but I can't sleep so I figured why the hell not. :) That's how it goes around here, get used to it.

Maybe bye bye for now?

2010-05-06T02:13:00.004-04:00

Apologies for my absence, but it once again coincides with my lack of anything to say. I'm really fighting with my head lately, and even more so with my sleep schedule. Between 5 and 6 a.m. is usually when I finally drift off to sleep. So because I'm sleeping at dumb hours of the day, it rules out some of my time. And because of headaches and other things, I've just been slowed down. Getting things done around the house is enough for me at the moment.

I know last month I had a lot of different issues and theories for solving them. And I know I had a lot of vague plans. But I think things are being pushed into motion. I don't know if it's good or not. I'm scared, to make a vague understatement. So we'll see. I don't want to discuss too much until I get the health issues a little sorted and until I have more definite plans in place. Once that all pans out, I'll blab about everything.

I'm having a long, hard contemplative session about stepping away from this blog for awhile. And away from Facebook and a bunch of other stuff. So, we'll see what happens. It wouldn't be a permanent goodbye, more just a little auf wiedersehen until further notice. But, just a head's up...it may or may not come.

I'm going home at the end of this week, and have the first in a series of many doctor's appointments on Monday. I'm really, really scared by this whole thing (even though I know it's not in my control so it's stupid to be scared about it). I'm just very worried, so any good thoughts you could put out there would really mean a lot.

Since I've been awake all through the recent nights, I've been reading a lot. Trying to trim down my To-Be-Read Pile and trade them out for new books. I've finished 3 book in two days and my brain is having a hard time with words on a page and making sense out of them. So I spent the last several minutes dicking around on Google Maps. I think I want to change up my route for going home to Pennsylvania. So of course, I didn't research this ahead of time. I'm just dragging and dropping the little blue line on the map until I come up with something mildly satisfactory. I can't decide if I should take this new, sort of random route or not. Or save it for on the way back to Charleston. I'd have no idea what sorts of things I'd encounter, as I said I haven't done any research. But it'd be a change of scenery, even if it means I'd just be seeing different highways and different trees. I'm going to ponder it a little. I would make my drive home a two-day one if I decide to take the new weird route.

This is all that's really new. I haven't sewn, I haven't cooked anything fantastic, I haven't painted. Just haven't had the energy or the focus. I've got a lot of stuff weighing on my mind lately and it's throwing me off, very much. So...hopefully things will change sometime soon. Hopefully for the better.

Happy Earth Day!

2010-04-22T15:14:00.003-04:00

It's Earth Day. Do something cool for our planet. And then continue to do something cool for our planet every second of every day, so that eventually nobody will give a shit about Earth Day because everybody will being caring about Earth every day.

Ok, now that I've gotten that out of the way....

Today sucks. I have the worst migraine I have had in...well, definitely 2010. Probably also the last half of 2009 can be included in there. I know what's coming - Well then why are you at the computer blogging on your boring blog? Because I did my duty to try to prevent this. I took the medicines that NEVER WORK. I went back to sleep for a few hours. All my blinds and curtains are closed. I have stayed hydrated and eaten some healthy food. And still with the throbbing and the pain behind the eyeballs and the constant looming feeling of nausea. So fuck it. I'm just gonna keep on keepin' on. And take a break every couple of minutes.

Anyway, I wanted to share something cool. Forgive me if you are my friend on Facebook and are seeing this for a second time. But I stumbled across the coolest blog on tumblr today. It's called Fuck Yeah The Universe (go ahead, click the link) and it's got really awesome pictures of and articles about stuff in space. In addition to liking FYTU, I kind of like the idea of tumblr. I may eventually acquire one of those in the future.

I think I'm about to hop in the shower (yeah it's 3:23 pm, what of it?) and head to the kitchen. Today's offerings may or may not include some vegan chili and maybe some cookies or something if I can be bothered. Possible pictures to follow.

ETA: I went back to browsing Fuck Yeah The Universe after I posted it and the next thing I saw was this. Click it. Seriously.

Name That Tree

2010-04-21T15:23:00.002-04:00

I asked via Twitter, and nobody seemed to have an answer for me. A week or two ago, I was downtown taking some pictures and just walking around to get some fresh air with a friend. And we stumbled across this beeeeautiful flowering tree. All I want to know is what kind of tree it is. Googling is getting me nowhere. Here. Look at its flowers. Whoever correctly identifies said tree gets a(n imaginary) high five. GO!

hm.

2010-04-20T19:04:00.005-04:00

I'm still feeling very trapped in my life lately, and the feeling is exacerbated by my total lack of energy. It's not because I'm out partying and not sleeping, not because I'm not taking vitamins, basically not for lack of trying. I get up in the morning, do some yoga, take my vitamins, eat some breakfast, start to get moving and promptly crash. It's likely that I sleep close to 12 hours a day. Not because I want to, but because I can't function otherwise. I'm clumsy and absent-minded and just generally unpleasant. The 12 hours a day things doesn't sound awful in theory, but considering I don't typically even get to sleep until 3 a.m., it kind of ruins the entire day.

So all that being said, I haven't been up to much. It is mentally taxing to think that's it's physically taxing for me to do all the normal things a person does. But it kind of is that way.

Even though I haven't been up to much, I did get something cool in the mail the other day, so that's something! This cool guy from Australia sent me two mix CDs, which, so far have been AWESOME. I'm really loving them. One is all bands from Australia and the other is just good bands from everywhere. His girlfriend, Bianca, decorated the CDs and made everything look gorgeous. She has the most beautiful handwriting I have ever seen. Check it out.

I didn't get pictures of the actual CDs, because I was in a rush to listen to them. But they're cool, I promise.

Staci and I went to the Tin Roof again last night. They were showing Zombie Strippers and we wanted to check that out, but we got sidetracked and misinterpreted each other so we were too late. Oh but don't worry, it will be seen. We just kind of hung out and talked and just relaxed. I like the place - it's got this feeling about it - makes me feel creative. We were doodling and writing the entire time we were there. And the pressure to drink isn't high. They're cool with people coming and hanging out and not being boozy and out of hand. I like that. Also, people actually talked to us this time around.

My dad called while we were out and said he bought some new paring knives. The first thing I asked him was if they were sharp. Not because I was being a dick, but because I am familiar with the brand of knives he bought and they're the sharpest ones I've ever owned and they hold it well. Anyway, he said he cut himself and should've gotten stitches but didn't, only while he was washing them. At this point I made fun of him profusely. Since I cut myself last year, my family members always tell me to stay away from sharp things. So it's nice to switch it around every now and then. He assures me he can feel the tip of his thumb, so I think all is well. If he were terribly injured, I wouldn't laugh.

That's all I've got. Not leaving the house much during the daytime really cuts down on the stories to share. I'll try to get better and come back with something really fantastic.

2010-04-17T18:19:00.003-04:00

I did go out today to celebrate Record Store Day a little. I held off for a couple of weeks just for this occasion. See? Here is me browsing at my local shop (hanging out in the lower left corner, as I do) along with a bunch of other people who got there right when they opened.

(Shh...I stole this picture from the store's Facebook)

Anybody else go out? Tell me all about it. Where did you go and what did you get?

It's heeeeeere...

2010-04-17T00:20:00.005-04:00

Happy Record Store Day, people!

Go out and get you some!

It's like Bonnaroo, but different...

2010-04-15T17:58:00.001-04:00

2010-04-14T11:41:00.002-04:00

I happened to come across an article on the New York Times website today about what it feels like to have long-term insomnia. It was a really interesting thing to me, because I can definitely identify with lots of what the writer had to say.

When I was younger and still living at home, I often didn't sleep at night. It wasn't because I couldn't, it was just because I preferred not to do so. It was easier for me to get things done at night when the house was quiet, and it was a time when I could do the things I wanted to instead of fulfilling the obligations I had during the day.

My junior year in high school, I had a solid year of good sleep before, sometime in my senior year, I started having awful nightmares and waking up in the middle of the night. I'd be absolutely terrified of absurd things that weren't putting me in danger or circumstances that didn't even exist. I really struggled with this situation, because my boyfriend at the time (who I lived with for most of this period) didn't understand what was going on and didn't really want to. So I'd sit up at night, crying and just generally freaking out while he slept like a baby and had no concern for what was going on. I knew that he couldn't fix the problem, because I didn't have any idea how to fix it, and I didn't expect him to sit up all night with me every night. But I think what I really wanted from him was just some sort of understanding - an acknowledgement that what was happening was a real issue to me, and that, even though he wasn't experiencing it, he understood that it really took a toll on me.

After awhile, I drifted out of that phase and got back into a normal sleep pattern again. I woke up every morning feeling ready to get out and do something new. I took good care of myself and was happy to be making some sort of a life on my own.

Then in 2008, my headaches started getting worse and I had them more frequently. I slept a lot more than normal, because my sleep at night was so disrupted. In 2009, I started having problems even falling asleep. Since then, I've been mostly awake until 4 a.m. every night. I've tried melatonin and Ambien and all of that fun stuff, to no great avail. So at around 11 each night, I get myself ready for bed and usually even try to go to sleep. If I do happen to have such luck, I wake up within an hour or two and can't get back to sleep until early in the morning.

All of this wouldn't be so bad if my body didn't automatically wake up at 7 or 8 every morning. Occasionally, I'll get a nap in before noon or in the early evening, but more often than not, I'm running on 4 or less disjointed hours of sleep a night.

Anyway, I guess my point to all of this is that a lot of people don't understand (either because they don't have the problem and can't grasp it, or they think it's fake, or they just don't care) the effects that constant sleeplessness can have on a person.

So go over and read the article here. It's by Lindsey Anderson, and if you want, you can also visit her blog here. It's not a call for pity for people who can't sleep - it's just kind of an insight. I like to understand things in other people's lives, so I found the article interesting.

April bores me.

2010-04-13T00:14:00.005-04:00

I feel like I'm in a huge, disgusting rut right now and I'm having a hard time getting out. So I'm trying to mix up my life a little bit and see if anything clicks. So far, nada.

Last night, Staci was over to my place and I made vegan pizza for us (since Earthfare now has Daiya - thank you, Lord) and we watched the Evil Dead 2 DVD which Netflix so graciously bestowed upon me this week. It was pretty much the Bruce Campbell show, and we both decided that the first was more fun to watch.

Tonight, I went to this little bar across the street called the Tin Roof (with Staci, of course). They were having an MST3K night and were set to show two episodes (Crash of the Moons and Menace from Outer Space), with some fun little shorts in between. When we got there, this was not the case. They showed two sci-fi movies and were set up to have some local folks sort of riff on them, but these folks didn't show I guess and nobody really stepped up. So we were left as a tiny group hovering at the bar making our own jokes - I have to say the bartender and one other patron were doing really well. The first movie they ran was The Astral Factor and it was honestly very hard to watch. Staci and I didn't stick around for the second, and most of the other people had left as well. It was a fun night. I think we both really enjoyed it, but it was kind of awkward. It felt like we walked into a modern day Cheers, where everybody knew each other and we were kind of intruding on their space. So we were just two nerdy girls sitting in a room full of nerdy guys. Anyway, the place is actually really cool and very comfortable, so it may become a new haunt for us and hopefully these people will become accustomed to our presence.

I'm shocked that Staci is not totally bored with me yet. We spend a lot of time together, but it seems that we get along well. And we take breaks in between of a couple of days. I think we're both kind of stuck and looking for change in our lives, so we sort of get each other.

In other news, this article popped up on my Facebook feed today, courtesy of Charleston's City Paper. I know I beat the proverbial dead horse about Food Revolution - but I just find it important and interesting. The article sort of mentions the situation here in the Charleston area in relation to the current buzz surrounding Jamie's show.

Other than all of that, my life has been kind of slow compared to the way it was in March. It's nice to have a slow day to just rest every now and then, but I feel like I have them all the time, and I feel sort of like I need them more often. It's frustrating to feel like a 90-year-old and be in pain or sick or fatigued or whatever. But I'm hoping things will get a bit better in the next week or so.

2010-04-10T19:45:00.002-04:00

Not much to say, but I did watch episode four of Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution today. Really great episode. So if you haven't seen it, you should go do that over on Hulu. It's worth the 45 minutes, promise.

2010-04-08T14:46:00.000-04:00

Everybody should probably click this link. Just sayin...

At least my bad habits were discouraged...

2010-04-06T19:57:00.003-04:00

I haven't really had an appetite for anything the past two weeks. I don't feel motivated to eat lunch or dinner, or even munch on veggies during the day. It's strange. But today I went to Whole Foods to pick up a few things and stuff sort of started jumping out at me.

Of course, I got some of the normal stuff that I do - stuff to make meals for the week, brazil nuts, grapes and other stuff to munch on. But for some reason today, sweets were hanging around in the back of my head too. I'm not big on that sort of stuff usually, but apparently I'm all about it now.

I really, really did not like ice cream when I was a kid, and even as I've gotten older, I've not really been so keen on it. But I discovered that I really like this:

So it hopped on into my basket. By itself. It grew legs and launched itself out of the freezer case and into the basket.

I thought that was kind of bad enough. A pint-sized death trap sitting in the freezer is more than I need. But then I walked over to the bakery to get bread. And they started having these vegan cupcakes in the bakery case like a year ago. At first, it was just boring, completely untempting shit like chocolate and vanilla. But then a couple of months ago, the good flavors started. Like today's orange cupcake with chocolate ganache on top. Soooo I couldn't say no.

Anyway. This cupcake came home and I ate my dinner and stared at the mini-cake on the counter. Annnnd I had a fairly small and wholesome dinner, so I figured why the hell not. Here is where I begin my letter to the bakers at Whole Foods.

Dear Whole Foods "Bakers" -

I don't know what kind of training you have to have to work in the bakery at a supermarket. And I don't know if the recipes are providing for you or if you get to experiment a little bit. But there is absolutely NO EXCUSE for the travesty that was the orange vegan cupcake with chocolate ganache. I have never seen any cake or bread product in my life so dense - it was comparable to eating a memory foam mattress. I know that baking is harrrdddd and vegan baking is probably hardderrr, but I also know for a fact that there are hundreds of awesome vegan cupcake recipes available. Ones that you can chew without dislocating your jaw. The flavor was ace - really perfect - and the ganache was just right, but even a perfect ganache could not rescue such a sad attempt at a cake. Please fix this.

Love and kisses, me.

Really. It was that bad, I promise. I threw all but 3 bites of it away. I just don't get how anyone in that bakery could've tasted that product when it was finished and still deemed it fit to go out for sale. It broke my little heart and shattered my dreams. So I suppose I will stick to baking my own cuppies at home.

Anyway, this entire entry is kind of bullshit. I had a mostly boring day and it looks like there are many to follow. Maybe I'll get to work on fixing Whole Foods' recipe for them.

Mail Call: Part 3

2010-04-05T15:26:00.003-04:00

This is the final installment for awhile, until I get some more mail! The cards today are all kind of things that made me giggle a little bit or are just kind of strange.

It took me more than a day to understand this joke. I looked at it, didn't get it, put it down, came back later, rinse, repeat...and then one day it clicked!

Supersquirrel flew in from a woman in the Netherlands.

I'm a nerd, so obviously, I enjoy this.

It's a bunny with condoms on its ears - self explanatory.

And RARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! Note the inadequacies of the tool in iPhoto I use to make sure people from the internet don't kill me in my sleep. Instead of just smudging white over my address, it smudged random words from the text. Awesome.

That's it. No more! Not unless people send me mail! Hinthint!

Happy Easter!

2010-04-04T14:58:00.002-04:00

This is what happens to people who expect things of bunnies that aren't in the bunnies' job descriptions - i.e., delivering candy and eggs, and going bawk bawk bawk...

Mail Call: Part 2

2010-04-04T03:14:00.004-04:00

It's after 3 in the morning and I still can't sleep, so I figure I should try to accomplish something rather than just staring at the ceiling for hours.

Before I get to the post thing, I just wanted to throw it out there that I watched Food Revolution episode three yesterday afternoon and was, once again, impressed. This time I watched over at hulu.com and that seemed to work far better for me - not as many annoying repeat ads and better streaming. So check it out if you haven't.

So the following cards are, once again, cards that I really like. These ones all sort of have to do with other places. I'm really desperate to get out of my city lately, so every card I get from some place else looks really interesting to me. But these ones were particularly fun.

This card was sent from Kuala Lumpur and the building is actually the railway station there.

This is Lake Louise in Banff National Park in Canada. Such a gorgeous view - really wouldn't mind seeing it in person!

I really like cities and all the bright lights they have to offer at night. I think I'd like to visit all of Australia, not just Brisbane.

My mind keeps wandering to California a lot lately. I'm 100% positive I'll get out there in the next couple of years.

This is an old ad card sort of thing for a motel in Biloxi, Miss. Nothing super special to most people, I'm sure, but I really like it.

I can't decide where I want to be lately. I've really got no idea. But I don't particularly want to be where I am now. I guess I just kind of want to see stuff. And I've got a passport that expires in 2014, so I'm kind of itching to get out of the country a little bit. Who knows...maybe something will come up in the next year or so.

Mail Call: Part 1

2010-04-03T14:31:00.004-04:00

I haven't shared my mail in awhile, but that doesn't mean I haven't been putting it aside for such things. I scanned in a bunch of postcards this morning and thought I'd share my favorites over the next couple of days. Today's cards are all handmade.

This photo was taken in an independent bookstore in Oslo by the sender. The postcard came from Leisha in Norway.

Yet another fun card from Carroll. She said the card was made a week before she found out she'd be sending to me. The universe just played another little trick!

This card came from Grant in Taiwan as a thank you for a card I sent him. What it says is the opposite of how I feel - I can express myself, but I can't draw my way out of a paper bag.

This one's from Alexis in Canada. The polaroid on the front is a real one.

In which I fail to be graceful and elegant...

2010-04-02T18:29:00.004-04:00

So I had a gift certificate for a certain online shop and I used it to buy a really cute pair of ballet flat-ish shoes. They're a pale lavender color and are possibly the most comfortable shoes I own now. Shoes by Blowfish are always comfortable as far as I can tell. Anyway, they arrived yesterday afternoon and I immediately ripped them out of the box in a whirlwind of tissue paper and cardboard.

Anyway, I tried them on and they fit perfectly and I wanted to take a picture to share in my joy over this simple little event. After I took this picture, I promptly kicked the shoes off (who am I kidding - I took them off carefully and placed them back into their safe little box), put my flip-flops on, and walked into the bathroom so I could get ready to meet a friend for dinner. Upon exiting the bathroom, I gracefully kicked into the edge of the bathroom door. I'm like at least 125% positive that I broke at least two toes. Possibly like 3. Or two and a half.

I'm sure I've probably broken a toe before, just from being clumsy and/or reckless. But I've never had lasting pain due to it. Is it weird that I have pain radiating up through the top of my foot to my ankle? Anybody an expert on these things?

It's About Time

2010-04-01T17:03:00.004-04:00

Yesterday, I had some time available and took it upon myself to watch the first two episodes of Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. I'm actually really glad I did this. You might not be though, because now you get to listen to me talk about it! This is going to be a very long entry, and I know not everyone will read it, but I hope that someone will find it of interest.

I'm sure most people these days have at least a vague idea of who Jamie Oliver is. He made his leap into fame with his first television show, The Naked Chef, in which he taught viewers how to make stripped down meals using only a few quality ingredients. Since then, he's hosted several shows, published several cookbooks, opened some restaurants, and begun his crusade to make the world a slightly healthier place.

I've always enjoyed watching Jamie do his thing. Although much of his food is not at all up my alley, I think he is a very talented chef and I enjoy his personality and approach to cooking. So when the Jamie's School Dinners program popped up (I still lived at home then), I of course tuned in to see what it was all about.

This program began with the idea of changing the food standards of schools in Great Britain. Jamie was of the opinion that the foods were unhealthy (never fresh, but processed) and unbalanced, and that this was unfair to the kids because they had no choice in the matter. They were eating what was fed to them, without hesitation, and it was setting them up poorly to be able to manage their dietary health in the future.

Now let's take a break. I understand that you can't go around telling people what to eat/do/say/think. I get that. But children don't know any better. And in the circumstance that existed when this program began, the people that should have been teaching them (i.e., teachers and other school officials, and the parents) weren't - either because they didn't care or they were ill-informed themselves. Being healthy is important. I will argue that until my dying day - a stable, healthy diet and exercise are just priceless. I understand that everyone can make his/her own individual choice as to whether or not to be healthy. I don't understand why anyone would actively choose to be unhealthy, but it happens - because being healthy is difficult. It takes work, and even costs more. Bottom line is, whether one chooses to make decisions to better his/her life is not my business, but I feel that people should at least have the education necessary to understand the choices that they're making for themselves and their children.

Jamie experienced great success with his program to improve school food systems in Great Britain. And this is how we have reached the current day, where Jamie's Food Revolution begins.

The Food Revolution series begins in the town of Huntingdon, West Virginia. This city is one of the unhealthiest cities in America, a statistic based on death rates and other factors I don't understand (I don't work for the government, but I'm sure they've published some more information on this somewhere). Upon his arrival in the town, Jamie is met with much opposition and skepticism. He is given no respect and no appreciation for his efforts. This, although upsetting, is the world we live in - people don't like change initiated from outside sources. We are wired to assume that if someone is trying to change us, whether for better or for worse, it must mean that we're not doing a good enough job on our own, that we're incompetent, lazy, stupid, or just plain incapable.

It seems that Jamie spends a lot of his time trying to reassure the locals that he's trying to help and that he doesn't mean any disrespect to them. I can understand both sides of the situation. But I think it's admirable of someone to leave their home and their family for months to try to help others that are just strangers.

In the first two episodes, we see a week of Chef Oliver trying to get kids in a school to actually eat the healthy meals he's prepared while jumping through hoops to make sure he is preparing them to meet the USDA school lunch standards. There is a very disconcerting scene in which, while trying to get the kids excited about healthy food, Jamie holds up various vegetables in front of a class of first graders. A child identifies a bunch of tomatoes as "potatoes", another an eggplant as a pear, and after a hint "egg salad", and so on. It was terrifying to think that, not only aren't these kids learning these things in school, but they're not learning them at home either.

Jamie also takes the time to visit a family (we only see one on the show so far, but he says there were a few) in an effort to help out with health at home too. The family that he visited, the Edwards, had a freezer stacked full of frozen pizzas, and a little fryer on their countertop which was used at nearly every meal. They made all of the food they would normally cook in a week and piled it onto the kitchen table. It was a huge pile of golden brown. Nothing in the pile was fresh or colorful. The mother of the family was upset when she saw it all in one place and agreed to try to change the situation. They had a funeral for the fryer, and vowed to start anew. Jamie took them shopping, and ended up leaving them with a week's recipes for simple, healthy dishes. He also spoke to one of the sons in the family before he left. The boy was very overweight and often teased at school. He stated that he wanted to change his weight and knew that the food choices his family was making were not the right ones. He even let it slip that he wanted to learn how to cook and maybe to become a chef one day. Later in the show, Jamie gives him some private lessons at a kitchen set up specifically for the show, where any of the townspeople can visit for free cooking lessons or a square meal.

In the second episode, Jamie returns to the Edwards home, where the family says they've been cooking the recipes and loving them, only to find way too many leftover ingredients and a daughter who let's slip that they had "pizza" (not one of the meals in the recipe plan). Jamie takes the family to the hospital for check-ups, which the children have not had in years. The boy who wanted to learn to cook has a diabetes scare - he is showing signs but does not test positive. This seems to be a turning point for the family, when the doctor tells them that a change needs to occur for their son's sake and it needs to occur now.

The second episode ends with the school superintendent and the woman in charge of enforcing USDA standards give Jamie permission to spend a few more weeks in the school, and declare his first week successful.

>> INTERMISSION <<

Okay. So I'm sure that if anybody has made it this far, they're curious as to why I'm waffling on and on about how great this guy is and blah blah blah. And while I do think Oliver's a good guy, it's not him that I'm so pleased with, it's the initiative. While I was watching yesterday, on more than one occasion, I felt tears start to well up. I cry at movies all the time, but I can't recall instances of television tears. And it wasn't watching other people cry that upset me - it was the poor kids. They have been set up for failure, and it kills me. And I know that it's not only in Huntingdon, it's all over the U.S.A., and I'm sure in some other countries as well. And I'm also upset by the lack of willingness to stop it.

If I were in the place of one of the parents of a child at this school, and I were to not have any food knowledge AT ALL, at the very least my jaw would be hitting the floor when some of the information was revealed to me. I would be demanding change or creating it on my own. It's just shocking to me that people see their weight approaching ridiculously high numbers and don't feel the need to change it. I know sometimes there are external circumstances for folks being overweight, but there aren't enough of those external circumstances in the world to justify the obesity in American society.

This cause is a cause I really believe in. As life expectancies are dropping and weights are rising across the country, we should be welcome change in with open arms. The generation of children in primary school now is the first generation whose parents are expected to outlive them, according to a statistic given on the show. I can't verify this "statistic", but I believe it. All signs point to yes.

I'm lucky enough to have the means and the information to live a mostly healthy life right now - I'm not perfect, but I try to do things that are generally good for me and try to keep myself mostly in check. Not everyone is as lucky. I can't give them millions of dollars to shop at Whole Foods and buy all natural and fresh ingredients for their meals. But I can do my best to inform those who will listen, and I can give my support to someone, in this case Jamie Oliver, who has a far wider reach than I ever will and who isn't willing to accept failure.

So I'm done ranting and carrying on. I really encourage everybody to watch the show if possible, just once, and give it a chance. The information is really shocking, and even if you already understand the problem, it's an interesting program. It's on Friday nights on ABC, or you can watch it for free at abc.com like I did.

And lastly, if you believe in this cause and you feel so inclined, sign the petition. I'm not typically a petition type of girl, but this is one change I'd like to see happen.

I'll Stop Soon, Promise

2010-03-30T15:11:00.004-04:00

I have to - this takes a toll on my body...

Last night, through some old channels, I was able to acquire tickets to see Mat Kearney & Ingrid Michaelson at the Music Farm here in Charleston. It wasn't a planned outing, but rather something that sort of came together at the last minute and worked out well.

Staci and I grabbed early dinner at Taste of India west of the Ashley. I haven't been there in a long time, but it was about as good as I remembered. Our usual Indian restaurant, Nirlep, isn't open on Mondays. Coincidentally, we usually want Indian food on Mondays.

Anyway, after that, we killed some time downtown at Kudu coffee. We kind of disrupted the illegal music sharing session of two people sitting in the same little nook we decided to occupy for a bit. The girl of this pair left and the guy was left to awkwardly listen in on our conversations. Every now and then, I caught him barely smiling out of the corner of my eye. Staci complimented his shoes - Vans slip-ons with dinosaurs on them, actually kind of fun - in an attempt to make conversation and take him out of the awkward listener stage, but he seemed very shy and was not into keeping up long-term conversation with us.

After an hour or so, we headed to the venue. We didn't get there ridiculously early, but somehow still ended up in the front row. Somebody is looking out for my short little self.

The concert was co-billed between Ingrid and Mat, and the opener was Cara Salimando. I've never heard of her before. She has a good voice but came off as being very young to me. Maybe she's not - but her material just seemed very young. It was a bit naive, but I didn't hate it.

Mat Kearney was up after that. He put on a good show, full of energy and interesting sidebars. Staci and I got chastised for making an inside joke while he had the audience clapping along - our joke disrupted the clapping and he stared us down and showed us how to do it right. I felt like I'd been slapped on the knuckles by a nun. He kept making very long eye contact with me and I thought it was kind of awkward, but figured it was just something he does. However, after his set, two girls approached me and started grilling me with questions. It went something like this: "Do you know Mat Kearney? - No. - Well I think you do now! - Why? - He kept staring at you. - Yes, I noticed. - We thought you were friends with him or his sister or something. - No..no. - Well, you are lucky!" I don't know why that makes me lucky. I guess it's the groupie thing - some girls want the attention of stars and want to be adored by them. I don't really care. Yes, it's kind of a fun little anecdote, but I'm not going to be like "OooHHhh he thinks I'm pretty!" or whatever. I figured I'd be bored on stage and find one person to fixate on too. At the end of the day, stars are people, and I still judge them on whether or not they're assholes - just like normal folks.

Ingrid Michaelson wrapped up the night. I knew most of her material going in, but I'm more of a casual listener, so it was interesting to hear her playing songs I wasn't SO overly familiar with. I like her attitude - she says things similar to things I say and seems to have the same sense of humor. That could be a stage thing, but it made me smile. I have a constant paranoia of people not getting me at all, so even if someone fake understands, that's cool. Her show involved lots of fun little bits. At the end of one song, all of the band members switched to a different instrument, and the bassist resumed singing the song. There was also some choreography and the encore boasted a cover of Death Cab for Cutie's "I Will Follow You Into The Dark", beginning with only Mat and Ingrid on stage, but then bringing in all the members from all the bands.

Anyway, it was an interesting show. I didn't intend upon going, but I knew that by the end of the week, I'd be bored and dying to get out of the apartment with nowhere to go. So I figured I should seize the opportunity while I had it.

2010-03-28T21:48:00.005-04:00

Saturday night I drove to Savannah, GA to see She & Him play at the Trustees' Theater as part of the Savannah Music Festival. I like Savannah and the drive there is fairly short but they don't usually have concerts worth seeing.

I had an extra ticket because a friend canceled on me, so I ended up selling it when I got there to a student from SCAD. She got stuck sitting next to me for the night, but she was nice enough so it was okay. We talked for about an hour before the show began.

There was no opening act, so the show was much shorter than I'm used to. Zooey Deschanel walked out on stage wearing a smile and a gorgeous pink dress. I love her mannerisms - she just carries herself very well. And I'm pretty sure she's the most beautiful woman alive. I was surprised by her voice live. It was by no means bad, just a little different in tone from on the album. But she projects well, and was very fun to watch.

They played a good mix of songs from their first album and also the second, which was just released a few days ago. Zooey, of course, was accompanied by m.ward (the "Him" in She & Him), and also by a band consisting of a drummer, rhythm guitarist, bassist, and two backup vocalists who also played some percussion and keys. Surprisingly, though, m.ward sort of hung out of to the side of the stage, very rarely interjecting himself into Zooey's stage show.

The crowd at the concert was fairly mixed - about half and half between SCAD students and older folks, some of which were very obviously wealthy, high society types who probably attended every event of the Festival. I don't hate old people, it was just weird to see them milling around in suits and fancy dresses like they were at the opera or a gallery opening or something.

I wish I had pictures or video to share, but per the artist's request, such things were not allowed. I don't typically break that rule - especially not in a small venue. As far as I can tell, only one video has surfaced so far on YouTube, and it's not so worth seeing.

Anyway, it was a good time and I'm glad I had the opportunity to go. And as always, I enjoyed Savannah - such a nice little city. I'd never want to live there, but I'm sure I'll visit it a few more times before I leave the South.

from the interwebs

Food Cravings. Gah.

2010-03-24T16:31:00.003-04:00

I am a person who is very in tune to what I'm eating, considering I don't eat much. Every season brings a change in the type of food I'm eating, and since it's starting to warm up, the cravings for fresh, light food are showing up too.

Tomatoes are always the first thing I start thinking about. They're simple enough to come by, usually, so I've already taken care of that. But for the past week or so I've been thinking about this dish I had while visiting a friend in New York. There's an Indian restaurant near his place called Spice Village and they have the most kick-ass mango salad ever. I don't remember what exactly is even in it other than mangoes, but I can't forget the flavor. It's sweet and spicy at the same time, and very fresh and juicy. I'm pretty sure that up close, it looked like this:

om nom nom...

So I think before this weekend rolls around, if I can get some nice mangoes, I'm going to attempt to make this. I'm sure there has to be a similar recipe online somewhere!

That's really it. I didn't have anything of importance to say, just am fixating on fooood. Anybody else? Weird cravings?

SPOON

2010-03-23T22:49:00.005-04:00

I like spoon - the utensil, the activity of, and the band. So naturally, this entry makes sense.

This past Saturday, Staci and I went to see Spoon play in Atlanta. I've always really liked this band and I had missed two previous chances to see them play, so when I saw tickets on sale for this time around, I couldn't pass it up.

There were two openers. The Strange Boys started the night off. They're a band out of Austin, TX. I wasn't really sure how I felt about them. I thought they had some talent - was impressed with the music, but just felt like in some instances the songs didn't pull together well. And the singer's voice just wasn't my favorite thing in the entire world. It could just be my picky opinion though - I've definitely heard worse opening acts before.

The second band on was Deerhunter. They hail from Marietta, GA, which is right outside of Atlanta. I was very impressed with them. The name sounded familiar, but I had never heard any of their material before. They put on a good show and I was happy to get the chance to see them.

Spoon came on at around 10:30. Their stage set was interesting, with various light installations. Britt Daniel walked onto the stage with a smile on his face and the crowd just lost it - I don't think the Tabernacle was so packed the last time I was there. Britt's smile carried through for the rest of the night. He really seemed to be enjoying himself on stage and it definitely made a difference in the show. It was enjoyable to watch and listen to. I was impressed by their performance, and judging by the bouncing floor underneath my feet and the screaming and singing of the people around me, so was everyone else. I definitely hope to see the band play again in the future.

I don't have a set list this time around, but I have a few videos over on YouTube (click pleeeease) and I have some pictures as well:

Happy Spring!

2010-03-22T17:07:00.004-04:00

Aside from today, it's been fairly warm here in Charleston. I'm enjoying the nice weather and am very happy to have more daylight in the evening. It also seems that as Spring starts to kick in, things in my life start to pick up a little bit. I've been having some personal issues that I need to sort out, but otherwise things are going alright.

My life is sort of up in the air. I'm stuck in a situation that I don't really like, as far as school and the city I live in and all of that stuff goes. I've been having a lot more back pain and headaches lately, and struggling with school because of it. It's sort of made me question if I'm doing the right thing, or if there's some other direction in which I should be pushing my life. I've been thinking a lot about culinary school recently. It's something I've always wanted to do and I think it'd make me very happy. Needless to say, I've got a lot of decisions to make and they're not as easy as I'd like them to be.

Saturday, Staci and I went to Atlanta to see Spoon at the Tabernacle. It was the longest drive ever (both ways), but we had a good time and laughed a lot. I'll post more about that tomorrow.

I'm trying to clean out my life - to get rid of all the stuff that sits around in closets. I need the money and I would like to have a less cluttered life. Some things, it's been easy for me to part with. But others are really hard. The two main things that fall into the latter category are my bike and a piece of art. I can't ride bike so often where I live - I'm in between 2 busy, busy highways and there is not a shoulder for me to ride on. I know, many people just take a chunk out of the road because "Share The Road" and all of that business. I'm just not into that - I'd prefer to be at least 95% safe. The piece of art is one that I purchased during a relationship which has since ended. It's all mushy and sentimental, but I'm having a hard time letting it go - not because of the ties to that relationship, but because it was my first "real" piece of art that I purchased. It's a Brian Andreas sculpture. See?

Today, I helped my friend, Trisha, with another photo shoot that she had to do for a school project. It's always a fun time, and always good to catch up with her. Although, today we were in the studio at her college and it's a very weird feeling to be at a college that's not the one you attend. I felt like a freshman all over again! She said she'd share those shots with me when she uploads them, so maybe I'll have some to share.

Not much else is new. I've rearranged my living room furniture and ended up with a more open and flowy layout. I've also been moving my plants around to sort of add some life to this place. And bringing flowers in. They really make a difference in the place.

Meh

2010-03-08T00:16:00.002-05:00

This past week has not been a fantastic one for me. I made far more visits to various doctors' offices and pharmacies than I care to in an entire year. Everything's okay, just having some issues that are really mucking around with my normal life.

Highlight of the week was Friday night. I went with Staci (who else - she is probably so sick of me!) to the Music Farm downtown to see Henry Rollins. It was weird walking into that venue and seeing rows of chairs - makes the place look much smaller. As expected, a good time was had by all. As Staci so eloquently said, it was "entertaining and insightful". Also the crowd was much less annoying than the usual Music Farm audience, so that was a plus. I didn't take as many photos because I was actually paying attention, and as it were, it's very hard to get a photo of someone who moves around so much. Soooo here's a nice blurry picture:

I'm on spring break this week and it will be nice to rest and sort of catch up on things. I had hoped to go somewhere, but my financial situation doesn't allow it. Maybe I'll be able to get out and about somewhere local, but I'm just really honestly tired after this past week. So..we'll see.

I had a job interview on Tuesday. No word back on whether I got the job or not, but I'm really hoping so. The hiring manager figured they'd be prepared to make a decision by the middle of this week, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. It'll be mildly hard work, but the pay will be decent and that's what I need at the moment.

In other news, it seems that the vegan "blogosphere" is abuzz with pancake recipes. I'm not a big fan of pancakes. Never have been. But for the past couple of weeks, I keep thinking about them. So...this week, I'm going to make pancakes. And I'm going to enjoy them, dammit.

Well, shit.

2010-03-04T22:32:00.004-05:00

First person who can guess what accidentally occurred here due to my stupidity gets a high five.

2010-02-22T16:36:00.002-05:00

Just a quick little post to say that it looks like, god willing, I will be graduating in December. There are no words to describe how happy this makes me - I've got a ridiculous grin spreading over my face just typing this. Obviously, I'm very exciting to be closing this chapter in my life and starting a new one, but I'm also a little terrified.

For the past year, I've been dying to get out of college. It was not a good choice for me, but so far I've stuck it out. I might not be a straight A student, but I get by. So naturally, since I've so desperately wanted to be done with this, I've contemplated all the things I would want to do after I graduate.

Well, now that this milestone is in the foreseeable future, it is a lot scarier to think about. I am drawing a lot of blanks concerning my future and realizing that getting things to be the way I want them to could be a lot more difficult than formerly anticipated.

The biggest issue in my mind is: Where am I going to live? I don't want to spend any more time in Charleston than I absolutely have to, and I also don't want to return home to rural Pennsylvania. So where do I go? I have no idea. New York was always in my mind as where I wanted to be, but with real life and bills and all, I just don't think I can do it right now. so hopefully the next several months will hold many weeks of traveling for me. I'd love to be able to take a month or two or four and just see the entire country. And Canada. But...it's just not going to happen.

Anyway, I will spare you all the excited ramblings. Just know that I am looking forward to being very happy. :)

2010-02-21T17:46:00.003-05:00

Since I last checked in, not a whole lot has occurred. The weather has been as crazy as ever. On the 12th, we had a couple of inches of snow here in Charleston. And today it's in the mid-60s. Although the snow was fun, I'm ready for summer!

Valentine's Day was fairly uneventful. I didn't really do a whole lot, just worked on some stuff around the house. My dad sent me roses to "brighten my day" - thank you, Dad, for reminding me that I am hopelessly single! :) He meant well and I appreciate them. They're very pretty and I've been snapping pictures of them as they bloom.

It seems February is going to come to a close, and quite frankly, I'm glad. It was kind of a month that I feel like never really arrived anyway, so why not. Bring on March! Next month is full of exciting things for me, but I don't want to spoil all the fun now.

As far as the ordinary day-to-day stuff goes, I'm trying to find the perfect fabric to make curtains for my living room/dining room. I have one set of two windows attached (if that makes sense) and then one window alone in the dining room, with my front door in between to keep them from fighting. I would love to have different curtains for living room and dining room instead of all the same. But...as it were, I live in the apartment with the dumbest floor plan known to man. An 11' x 18' living room, which also serves as a hallways and entryway. Really. It's idiotic. And my dining room will never be separate enough from my living room to have its own color scheme. See?

Dining room is where it says "750 sq. ft."

Speaking of the dining room, since I don't dine there, I figured I should make it useful for something. So for right now, it's the makeshift arts/crafts/sewing/correspondence/printing and copy center area. I spent much of last evening trying to reorganize it so that I can implement some sort of system for storing all of this stuff. Still not done...

In other news, this weekend I made the best $10 investment of my entire life. That is, a man's razor. I don't know why, but it appears to be true that men's razors work better than women's. My legs are smooth and happy. :) Not that anybody cares, but it's a slow news day and honestly, I was really excited.

I'm off to a meeting shortly and then home to do more homework. I hope something exciting happens this week, but I'm not getting my hopes up.

2010-02-10T19:44:00.006-05:00

It's getting close to Valentine's Day. I always think of these at this time of year:

Image borrowed from here.

Just a random thought...

2010-02-08T19:10:00.004-05:00

There comes a time when a person must admit that they have a problem. Some people have this problem with things like alcohol or drugs, some people have this problem with actions like shopping or stealing. I have this problem with having pets.

I have always loved animals, ever since I was a child. When I was very young, I thought this would lead me someday to be a veterinarian, but as I grew up I realized that seeing animals suffer is something I will never be able to deal with. I moved on from that phase and spent some time volunteering in animal shelters. This exacerbated the problem, because at the end of the day, I'd always want to bring all of the little homeless animals home to live with me.

I think my attitude towards animals stems a little bit from growing up on a small farm where my father raised sheep and my brother raised chickens. My grandfather also kept ring-necked pheasants for awhile. I just love having animals around and helping them to live happy lives.

When I first moved to Charleston, I adopted 3 rabbits. One, we had to send to a breeder because he was too angsty. He was looking for a nice female bunny to court. But the other two lived with my boyfriend and I, and my yorkie, until the relationship ended and I had to go. One bunny (Julian - a gray dwarf rabbit) stayed with me, and the other (Rory - a gigantic 15 pound rabbit we got when she was a pregnant, mistreated young thing) stayed with the ex. I don't know what the ex did with Rory, and I miss her dearly, but I'd hope she's in a good home. Julian stayed with me until my studies lead me to New York City, at which time he found a new home in Pennsylvania with my mother. I hope one day to have him living with me again, but traveling is very stressful on rabbits and I don't want to move him here only to move him again when I graduate college.

So currently I live here with my dog and my cat. We have a fairly balanced household, and a fairly noisy one. Recently I've been really thinking about animals a lot. I feel like I need to have another critter in my house. It's a weird thing. I don't see myself ever being one of those crazy people who lives with 47 cats in complete squalor. Let's face it, I'm far too much of a neat freak for that. But also, I refuse to have animals in my life if they won't be well taken care of or if I can't guarantee that they will be healthy.

That being said, I have no space to adopt a huge dog or even another cat. But I've been thinking about an anole. They live indigenously here in South Carolina, so I know it wouldn't be a harsh environment for him. Also, they don't like to be held much, which works out for me because lizards are something I'm still working on being okay with as far as touching goes. So I've been contemplating inviting a little green anole into my house and it may be a change I make in the next few months.

The point was though, that every so often I do wish I could live in a bigger home so that I would have the opportunity to foster some animals looking for new homes, or to do some wildlife rehabilitation work. But unfortunately, apartment life is where I'm at right now.

I wanted to share something that I saw via Apartment Therapy today. It was this fun little (well, not really little) aviary that a woman built from a wardrobe. I think it's absolutely gorgeous and would make a wonderful home for a few little birds. But, I'm definitely not ready for birds in my life yet! Maybe someday...

Here's the picture from AT:

Dear Weather, Please Stop That

2010-02-02T13:35:00.003-05:00

So when I posted last week, I had tentative plans of going to the beach, making a big day out of it, etc. But...it got cold here. And windy too. And while I'm up for some fun in bad weather, having sand blown into my face for a few hours is just not at the top of my list. Hopefully this week. And hopefully Sullivan's Island. I haven't been there in a long time - at least 2 years - and I kind of forget what it's like.

I had another good mail day in the middle of last week, on which I received my first ever fabric postcard. I may want to dabble in making some of these in the future. I have such a long list of sewing projects that I want to do and not enough time or a big enough fabric budget to do them.

This week, though, I will be starting a wee little project that I can work in along with my schoolwork. It'll be something I do when I have time, and I've got no deadline for it. When I was maybe 14 years old, I moved into a different room in the house. Upon cleaning out the closet in that room, I found an old, battered briefcase that happened to be filled with old photos, some of which were tintypes, and also a diploma or college degree for a woman named Helen Keller (not THAT Helen Keller). The briefcase has been sitting under my bed in the spare room at my grandparents' house, just collecting dust. And so I thought now would be as good a time as any to dig through them, sort them a little bit, and try to learn more. Also, it's just fun to see the pictures and speculate things about the people's lives. So far, I've not got much information. I went through a small stack yesterday and saw that some of the pictures were labeled as being taken in Chicago and Wisconsin. If I find anything that I particularly like, I'll probably share it here. But for now, here's a picture of the jumbled mess that is currently living in a large priority mail box:

Good Mail Day

2010-01-25T15:53:00.004-05:00

Friday was the best mail day I've had in awhile. Of course, days I get anything other than bills are all actually good mail days, but this one was special. I received three postcards that I reeeeally like - they're all handmade and just interesting. One is a PostSecret style one. Soooo look:

Secret.

Another fun card from Carroll.

True story.

I really need to receive the last one once every couple of weeks. It needs to find a permanent place in my home where I can see it on a regular basis, I just haven't come across the perfect spot yet.

Things have been dull here. Classes are boring. I'm trying to find the perfect paint colors for some "accent walls". I haven't been anywhere outside of Charleston recently or been to any interesting events. 2010 feels very strange to me now and I feel like I need to get settled in and find my footing before I start doing really big things.

The weather's getting really nice here, so I'm thinking the end of this week will bring a trip to the beach!

Doing This Year Right

2010-01-11T08:33:00.002-05:00

So I was reading somebody's blog on tumblr this morning and I've decided that I'm not going to neglect this anymore. Whether it's just a picture or a quote or just what I've done throughout my day, I'm going to try to post way more often. I would say daily, but I'm a slacker, so we'll see how it goes.

2010 has been feeling really good for me so far. I think a lot of stuff is going to change and I think it's going to be a really great year. I have this feeling like something big is going to happen, I just don't know what it is yet.

Yesterday I met with a friend for lunch and we decided we need to be more goal oriented. So we created a system of setting goals for the week, month, and long-term and actually achieving them. It'll be interesting and I'm sure we'll both make a lot of mistakes, but at least we're sort of in this together so that we can each tell each other to step it up and get to work.

My first "big" goal of this year is to make my shitty apartment into a home. It appears that I'm stuck here for at least another year, so I might as well enjoy it. I will be selling a lot of my stuff to minimize clutter, reorganizing pretty much everything, and possibly doing some painting. Pictures may come later.

Now, off to the first day of class. Hell yeah, "decision sciences"!

So long, 2009!

2009-12-31T10:57:00.004-05:00

Hello from lovely, snowy New York. I am not going anywhere near Times Square, but I am in close proximity to the city.

I've been thinking a little bit about what I could say about 2009. I don't want to do a "looking back" meme. I had no really huge events to recap on in 2009 other than my accident and finger surgery. I haven't traveled anywhere and I haven't seen anything spectacular. I can't even give you my top ten albums of 2009 because I think I've only listened to maybe three albums that were released this year.

I guess this all means that 2009 was mostly mediocre. And it was. It wasn't the worst year I've had, but it wasn't the best to date either. I'm happy to see it go, and I'm really hoping 2010 is going to be an amazing year - at least, I'm going to try really hard to make it one.

Anyway, so as not to disappoint and merely trash talk 2009, here are the ten albums that I clung to the most in 2009. Enjoy this, please.

1. XTC - Apple Venus Volume 1

I heard this exactly one year ago today. I was lucky enough to be wearing headphones during my first listen so I could enjoy the full experience. It still feels like the first time every time.

2. Fleet Foxes (self-titled)

I never thought I'd love this album as much as I do. I get chills every time I hear it. I like to sing along with it. My family will endure listening to it. There's just nothing wrong with this. And seeing the band live was a treat - they perform well.

3. Andrew Bird - Noble Beast

I'm always a little bit wary of new albums from bands/musicians that I already love. Because eventually it ends in disappointment. This album was a bit different to my ears from previous offerings from Mr. Bird, but it was really well done. Took a few days to grow on me, but I listen to it frequently now.

4. Tears For Fears - The Hurting

This came heavily recommended and I liked it upon first listen. That never happens.

5. XTC - English Settlement

If I could just put every XTC album I've heard on this list, it would probably be more accurate. But that's not fair. I like to listen to this one while I'm cleaning.

6. Eric's Duran Duran mix

It's really fantastic. It was only posted in October and I've already listened to it over 100 times, I'm sure of it. Download it. Also, Eric did an XTC mix that was excellent. And some others too. I'm constantly impressed.

7. St. Vincent - Actor

I wasn't sure how I'd feel about St. Vincent when I found out she was opening for Andrew Bird in Charleston. I bought the album, forgot to listen to it, and saw her with no previous knowledge of her work. I will say that she was amazing on stage - I prefer her live performances to the album. But the album grew on me quickly, and I really would love to hear more from her in the future.

8. The Shins - Chutes Too Narrow

This has always been my favorite album from The Shins and that still hasn't changed. Their music makes me happy - I like to dance around to it while I'm working in the kitchen.

9. Nick Drake - Pink Moon and Five Leaves Left

I can't choose one. And I usually listen to them back to back anyway. Great albums. I heard them both for the first time on the long drive to Minnesota with my mom a few years back.

10. Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds - No More Shall We Part

Oddly enough, this is a Christmas album of sorts for me. As soon as it starts getting cold outside, I dig it out and revisit it. It also is the album I listen to while I'm trying to sleep at night.

2009-12-29T21:42:00.002-05:00

I've been staring at this thing for a couple of days, knowing that I've neglected it and should write something, but not able to think of anything. It's not that nothing has happened since I last wrote - quite a bit has - but nothing really worth talking about so much.

Staci and I *did* go to Presents for Punks at Mellow Mushroom this year. It was a charity art show type thing. Locals artists donated some of their work and most of it sold for under $50 - some pieces were just straight sales, others were sold in silent auctions. It was a nice event and we each left with one piece. We had them picked out within ten minutes of entering the room, so I'd say we did good. The event is only in its second year, but I'd really like to see it go on for many years to come.

Currently, I'm home in Pennsylvania again, and ready to get out of here. Ready to get out of anywhere I call home, really. I'm in a bit of a rut and am having a hard time getting out. It feels like time for me to move again.

Anyway, hopefully in the next day or so I'll have something to say about 2009 since it's drawing to a close. I'm a little happy about its passing. In 2010, maybe I'll be better at this. But don't count on it... :)

So close to the end...

2009-11-22T00:48:00.005-05:00

Not much has been going on lately, mainly because it's getting closer to final exam time and my work load has just gotten insane. Some of the frustration since my last post has worn off, thankfully, but I'm still just quite stressed. With all the school work, weird dreams and awful sleep, and the fact that I've been killing all the technology around me, it's just been a bit much all at once. Luckily, little fun things have been sort of breaking up the stress for me.

Earlier this week, I met up with my friend Staci and we played a little pool. I haven't done so for several years, and even though I am less than excellent at this, I really enjoyed it. We had a fun time.

Yesterday (Friday), I helped out another friend, Trisha, with a project she has to do for her photography courses at school. She shot some photos of me goofing off and some other normal ones. They were all on film, so if I'm not sure if I'll get to see copies of them or not. I just hope they turn out well for her. We spent a lot of time catching up, as we haven't really seen each other in about 2 years.

Yesterday was also a good mail day for me. I received two postcards I was really fond of. The first was a Futurama card that someone received and was kind enough to pass on to me. I do love Futurama.

The other was a handmade card that just made my day. It was really interesting, in a good way, and also had some beautiful vintage stamps on the back (commemorating the moon landing).

I know...I'm a nerd, but simple things make me happy.
Today, Staci came over and helped me dye my hair darker again. It turned out really well, thankfully, so I think I'll keep her. We spent a couple of hours just talking and laughing about random things afterwards, which was a nice way to end a day of studying.
Unfortunately, the only break I have between the end of classes and my exams is Reading Day....I get one day off. That's never happened before. I've also never had an 8 a.m. exam before or one on a Saturday - this year I have an exam at 8 a.m. on Saturday. So, I will not be getting out of town until after my exams are finished. Hopefully then I'll have some more interesting news.

FRUSTRATED!

2009-11-12T19:13:00.002-05:00

nataliedee.com

Waste of Time?

2009-11-07T12:02:00.008-05:00

Wednesday evening after class, I spent 90 minutes traveling 16 miles to get out of Charleston and to head toward Charlotte. I was excited all the way there because I was going to see Nicole Atkins for the third time, this time with her new band.Even though I was an hour behind schedule, I made it early enough to see Stephen Warwick/Secondhand Stories take the stage. I really enjoyed them, just as last time. Their trumpeter is back and Stephen cut off all his hair. He started the night off right, breaking a string on the first song. It was replaced and he broke another one before the set was over.

Next up were HYMNS. They hail from Brooklyn, NY and have a spazzy lead guitarist. Actually, I'm not going to lie, when I first saw them, I though the bad hair and shoes convention had come to town. Unfortunately, I do not have a good picture to share. Luckily, the internet is always there to help.

Appearance aside, I actually enjoyed their set very much. Am I going to rush out and buy the albums? No. But it was worth seeing. Their lead and rhythm guitarists also managed to each break a string.

Foley Stewart played two songs before Nicole went on. He has a beautiful voice, but I'm not sure if his music is really my thing. He also comes from New York.

Nicole and her band took the stage and here's where I start sounding like a snobby bitch. Maybe it's because I was accustomed to the old Nicole, but I really wasn't impressed. The new band have an air about them - I can't even exactly say what that means, but it just was a weird feeling from the start. They played a lot from the upcoming new album and it's a completely different sound - not in a bad way! It's just different. I can appreciate an artist's desire to take things in a new direction. A "but..." should follow that but I really don't have one.

The thing that sort of struck me most was the way Nicole has seemingly changed. She dressed the same, had the same gorgeous hair and amazing voice. But she, like the new band, had an attitude about her. There were many comments made throughout the set in a very sarcastically rude manner followed by "just kidding". It honestly made me think of that girl in high school that thinks being a bitch makes her cute and sexy. And it doesn't. Don't get me wrong, I still love her music, I still think she's a great person, great with her fans. But I just don't understand the on-stage presence change. It was just weird to watch.

I left immediately after the show - didn't stick around for chatting or anything. I was glad I went, but at the same time, I wasn't overly impressed. Broken string count for the night was 4, and that was pretty much the most amusing thing to me. I don't have any photos that came out from the show, simply because there was no lighting from the front of the stage and I'm not the asshole person who uses flash when I'm right in front of someone's face. I have one video of Hymns and one of Nicole. Hymns video is not uploaded yet. But here is Nicole doing "The Way It Is" - my favorite song by her.

I got home at about 3:30am, changed clothes, and went to bed. I love these little trips, but they really wear on me - I could just be getting old. The next morning I woke up with the worst migraine I have ever had in my entire life. Every little movement I made set my head throbbing, and the light coming in through the crack between the curtain and the wall was just killing me. So I spent most of the day sitting in a darkened living room with one of those eye masks on. The medicine I was given months ago wouldn't touch it, so I'm asking that if anybody knows of any non-medical ways to help destroy a migraine, please please please share. I don't plan on it happening anytime in the near future, but I'd like to be ready when it does.

My mom sent me a box this week with my aquarelles in them. I'm looking forward to a few weeks of artsy stuff ahead!

iTunes can suck it.

2009-11-03T21:25:00.003-05:00

I've installed the newest version of iTunes and have been waiting approximately 20 minutes now for it to update my library. This is what I'm seeing.

Unbelievable. Twenty minutes and that's all??? What the hell, iTunes?

God willing, I'm off to Charlotte tomorrow night (departing immediately after German poetry class!) to see Nicole Atkins & the Black Sea. If I make it there, pictures and video will be posted later this week.

Savannah Record and 'Zine Fair 2009

2009-10-25T13:51:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, Staci and I drove down to Savannah to take in SCAD's record and 'zine fair in hopes that we would each find a few little things that we could bring home with us. Thank you, SCAD, you bastards, for nearly bankrupting us both. :)

It was actually a fairly tiny little fair. It took place in a ballroom in one of their buildings on campus. But I'm glad that it wasn't any bigger, because until we got through everything, we both had nearly empty wallets. I came home with a total of 28 records, which is way more than I intended upon. But I'm glad we went and I'm glad I got the things I did!

In addition to buying some fun records, we had good thai food, tried on some cute clothes, and visited the best art supply store EVER. Seriously, it was huge and had everything I could ever want. It also just so happened that we were in town on the day that Savannah was having its Wag-O-Ween event. So there were tons of cute puppies everywhere all decked out in Halloween costumes.

I gained some new respect for Savannah on this trip. I still don't think I could ever be content living there, but it is a pretty cool city and I'd like to visit again soon. It's much less boring than Charleston, and has a lot of interesting things to see.

On our way back to Charleston, the sun was just setting, but it was still fairly bright out. So we made a little stop at the Old Sheldon Church Ruins. I was there with my family several months ago - you can see that entry here.

Unfortunately, I don't have any photos from yesterday. Was just more focused on enjoying it. Now it's back to the same old boring stuff for the week!

The Rev is always there for me.

2009-10-21T10:51:00.008-04:00

When I'm at home with my parents, I watch way too much television, mostly because I'm bored and because I can, whereas at my home in Charleston I don't really get to see a lot of this stuff. One show I've gotten into the habit of watching is Run's House on MTV. I love this show, and I can't even really tell you why. Maybe it's because of the lack of really intense drama. Maybe it's because of his happy-go-lucky attitude. Whatever it is, it's working, and due to my love for this show, I somehow signed up to receive Rev Run's Daily Words of Wisdom over a year ago. I don't even know.

So I get these e-mails daily. Sometimes they're about stuff I'm not so into like God or business. But for the past few months, there have been some really good little blurbs that have really been coinciding with various problems I've been having. Don't get me wrong - I know that these little two-sentence motivational speeches are not going to solve all my problems. That's my responsibility. But it's good to kind of get a little push to stick with it or whatever sometimes.

All of that being said, lately I've been having a lot of doubts about my choices for my future. I've been having a lot of doubts about college and about myself. And I'm really not at all sure what to do about the situation. But, in the mornings, I open my e-mail and there are the Words of Wisdom. Here is today's:

Good morning. Never give into a melancholy vibe; resist it steadily,
for that habit will hang around and it's HARD to get rid of!

God is Love
Rev Run

It's a legit point. So anyway, I've really been looking forward to these for the past few days. If you're interested, you can read more over at Global Grind.

Oh look! It's my favorite time of year!

2009-10-19T14:37:00.006-04:00

October through January is a generally enjoyable time for me. I like the holidays and I like the cold weather. I love snow, even though we don't get any in Charleston. I love being able to wear sweaters, coats, scarves, and even the occasional hat. And surprisingly October, November, and December are typically my busiest months of the year.

Anyway, last year's fall/winter was not super fun. So I am happy to report that I am feeling much more positive about this year. I am getting really into the whole Halloween thing. I've been baking lots of stuff. I've been contemplating some mild decorating. And I have decided to hopefully do something on Halloween. While I am not yet sold on the idea of having a costume, I am otherwise very excited about celebrating! If all local Halloween plans fail, The Old Ceremony are playing at Smith's Olde Bar in Atlanta. And there I will be.

As for Thanksgiving - it will kind of be skipped over because I will still be here in Charleston. I might cook fancy dinner and I may have some people over maybe. But I'm not really worried about that right now. I'm not going to be terribly upset if I don't have a big Thanksgiving celebration.

And then comes Christmas! Every morning I've been waking up and taking the dog outside in 45 degree weather saying, "It feels like Christmas." Because it does. And this morning when I went out, the sky was completely clear of clouds and there were just stars everywhere. It was really amazing...reminded me of winter nights back home with snow everywhere and a bright moon and bright stars. So I'm counting down until Christmas gets here. I have about half of the gifts taken care of. Two of the remaining ones are going to take me some serious time and work. But I'm ready!

Aside from holiday things coming up, I've got some other stuff on my calendar in the next few months. This Saturday, October 24, I think Staci and I will be traveling to Savannah, GA for the Third Savannah Record and 'Zine Fair. It will be good times for all, I'm thinking. Even if it blows, we'll at least be in Savannah.

November 3 and 4, Nicole Atkins is playing at Snug Harbor up in Charlotte, NC. I love this venue, and I loved her show the last time I was there. So I will be going at least one of these nights, if not both. It's just a long drive there and back for a school night. But I have done dumber things.

Completely unrelated to upcoming events, I received a postcard today from a nice lady in Australia. It's a photo her husband took. And it is of the cutest baby kangaroo (which she lovingly called a "bunnyroo", because of the adorable ears) I have ever seen. Not that I have seen millions of baby kangas. But anyway, I love him, and this woman has informed me that they have a "mob" of them living near their home. I'm moving to Australia.

But not until after I get to go to California.

Really...anywhere but here would be good right about now.

I saw the Bird at the Farm!

2009-10-14T00:30:00.000-04:00

Monday night, my friend Staci and I headed downtown to The Music Farm to see Andrew Bird. Despite some rough events of the night, it was an amazing show, and I'm very glad we had the chance to go.The opening act was St. Vincent. I have St. Vincent's album "Actor", but just haven't really gotten a chance to have a good, thorough listen to it yet. I was very impressed by the live performance, though, and will definitely be enjoying the album much in the future. The girl's real name is Annie Clark, and she is just fascinating to watch. First off, she is one of those tall, skinny bitches I wish I could've been born as. But the way she moves is just very mesmerizing - it's sort of mechanical like a wind-up doll...maybe a little spazzy...but so much fun to watch. And she is not afraid to really use and abuse her guitar. Very interesting. She also used to be a member of The Polyphonic Spree, who hold a special place in my heart. Click here to watch my video of her song "Now Now".

There was a little altercation in between St. Vincent and Andrew Bird between Staci & I and the group of drunk [approximately] 16-17 year olds behind us. I got more action in that one night from drunk teenagers rubbing all up on me than I have had in the past year altogether. Anyway, things progressed to ass grabbing and shouting and went a little too far. Staci punched a kid, and normally I'm not for violence but he was being a tool and deserved it. It's better that Staci hit him and teach him a lesson than for him to piss off some really big guy in the future and get his ass kicked. And I was proud of her for standing up for herself. Attagirl! :)

A-nyway. Andrew Bird came on stage and things got back to normal. Sometime in the past week, my brain flipped a switch and I decided he was actually quite the handsome man. It might be the way he dresses and the eyes, but I can't say for sure. All that aside, he was really fun to watch. The videos you see online give sort of an accurate impression, but obviously he has much more presence when you're there. He played an amazing set, and brought St. Vincent on for two songs in the encore. Set list was as follows:

Ravel

Fiery Crash

Masterswarm

Opposite Day

Fitz and the Dizzyspells

Oh No

Effigy

Anonanimal

Not A Robot, But A Ghost*

Headsoak

Plasticities*

Imitosis

Cataracts

Fake Palindromes

Encores: Why / Scythian Empires / Tables and Chairs

The two with asterisks may not be in complete proper order as they weren't included on the planned set list. But I think I'm right. Click on the 3 songs with links to see my videos of them. I'm not putting them up here because it takes forever to load with them. And anyway, if you go to the link you can watch them in super cool HD! All big and stuff!

So that was pretty much the night in a nutshell. I wish I had more to say about it, but it was really just a good night and I'm glad that I was able to go. For more photos, click. I like links because they let you do all the work. :)

IT'S ALIIIIVE!

2009-09-18T10:30:00.002-04:00

I went to the hand doctor today and got my cast taken off and my stitches removed. There were 5 in case you were wondering. I'm happy to have two hands to use, but it's weird getting used to this now too. And my left hand is very weak - I can't make a fist or really hold on to much more than a magazine. I would provide an "after" picture, but a) I'm prepping my laptop to possibly go to the great Apple Store in the sky, and b) it's pretty gross with lots of dried blood and such. Can't really even see the incision. It is bigger than the original cut though.

So anyway...Yayyyy hand! That is all.

Quality Time With Kitteroo

2009-09-17T14:42:00.003-04:00

Since my family took my puppy home with them, I've been missing her lots and have been taking it out on the cat by giving him so much love. We've been playing lots and snuggling and trying out new treats (treats for him, not me). He hates this and protests with angry mews. He only puts up with me because I'm good for a catnip mouse or two.

I, however, am very glad that he's here to keep me company and cause chaos while I'm trying to get ready for school in the a.m.