Thursday, May 06, 2010

Maybe bye bye for now?

Apologies for my absence, but it once again coincides with my lack of anything to say. I'm really fighting with my head lately, and even more so with my sleep schedule. Between 5 and 6 a.m. is usually when I finally drift off to sleep. So because I'm sleeping at dumb hours of the day, it rules out some of my time. And because of headaches and other things, I've just been slowed down. Getting things done around the house is enough for me at the moment.

I know last month I had a lot of different issues and theories for solving them. And I know I had a lot of vague plans. But I think things are being pushed into motion. I don't know if it's good or not. I'm scared, to make a vague understatement. So we'll see. I don't want to discuss too much until I get the health issues a little sorted and until I have more definite plans in place. Once that all pans out, I'll blab about everything.

I'm having a long, hard contemplative session about stepping away from this blog for awhile. And away from Facebook and a bunch of other stuff. So, we'll see what happens. It wouldn't be a permanent goodbye, more just a little auf wiedersehen until further notice. But, just a head's may or may not come.

I'm going home at the end of this week, and have the first in a series of many doctor's appointments on Monday. I'm really, really scared by this whole thing (even though I know it's not in my control so it's stupid to be scared about it). I'm just very worried, so any good thoughts you could put out there would really mean a lot.

Since I've been awake all through the recent nights, I've been reading a lot. Trying to trim down my To-Be-Read Pile and trade them out for new books. I've finished 3 book in two days and my brain is having a hard time with words on a page and making sense out of them. So I spent the last several minutes dicking around on Google Maps. I think I want to change up my route for going home to Pennsylvania. So of course, I didn't research this ahead of time. I'm just dragging and dropping the little blue line on the map until I come up with something mildly satisfactory. I can't decide if I should take this new, sort of random route or not. Or save it for on the way back to Charleston. I'd have no idea what sorts of things I'd encounter, as I said I haven't done any research. But it'd be a change of scenery, even if it means I'd just be seeing different highways and different trees. I'm going to ponder it a little. I would make my drive home a two-day one if I decide to take the new weird route.

This is all that's really new. I haven't sewn, I haven't cooked anything fantastic, I haven't painted. Just haven't had the energy or the focus. I've got a lot of stuff weighing on my mind lately and it's throwing me off, very much. So...hopefully things will change sometime soon. Hopefully for the better.


  1. Bianca and I have been having odd waking hours too (3-5am bed times). It doesn't help that we have all these assignments due. Getting up at midday doesn't make for productive inroads.

    Good luck with your doctors appointments. Hope you're feeling better soon!

  2. Exams ruin life for all students. I think it's just ridiculous that there isn't a better system - that everyone's okay with the current system that causes so much physical and emotional stress. They make it impossible to be healthy.
    Thanks for your wishes of luck!