Tuesday, April 06, 2010

At least my bad habits were discouraged...

I haven't really had an appetite for anything the past two weeks. I don't feel motivated to eat lunch or dinner, or even munch on veggies during the day. It's strange. But today I went to Whole Foods to pick up a few things and stuff sort of started jumping out at me.

Of course, I got some of the normal stuff that I do - stuff to make meals for the week, brazil nuts, grapes and other stuff to munch on. But for some reason today, sweets were hanging around in the back of my head too. I'm not big on that sort of stuff usually, but apparently I'm all about it now.

I really, really did not like ice cream when I was a kid, and even as I've gotten older, I've not really been so keen on it. But I discovered that I really like this:

So it hopped on into my basket. By itself. It grew legs and launched itself out of the freezer case and into the basket.

I thought that was kind of bad enough. A pint-sized death trap sitting in the freezer is more than I need. But then I walked over to the bakery to get bread. And they started having these vegan cupcakes in the bakery case like a year ago. At first, it was just boring, completely untempting shit like chocolate and vanilla. But then a couple of months ago, the good flavors started. Like today's orange cupcake with chocolate ganache on top. Soooo I couldn't say no.

Anyway. This cupcake came home and I ate my dinner and stared at the mini-cake on the counter. Annnnd I had a fairly small and wholesome dinner, so I figured why the hell not. Here is where I begin my letter to the bakers at Whole Foods.

Dear Whole Foods "Bakers" -
I don't know what kind of training you have to have to work in the bakery at a supermarket. And I don't know if the recipes are providing for you or if you get to experiment a little bit. But there is absolutely NO EXCUSE for the travesty that was the orange vegan cupcake with chocolate ganache. I have never seen any cake or bread product in my life so dense - it was comparable to eating a memory foam mattress. I know that baking is harrrdddd and vegan baking is probably hardderrr, but I also know for a fact that there are hundreds of awesome vegan cupcake recipes available. Ones that you can chew without dislocating your jaw. The flavor was ace - really perfect - and the ganache was just right, but even a perfect ganache could not rescue such a sad attempt at a cake. Please fix this.
Love and kisses, me.

Really. It was that bad, I promise. I threw all but 3 bites of it away. I just don't get how anyone in that bakery could've tasted that product when it was finished and still deemed it fit to go out for sale. It broke my little heart and shattered my dreams. So I suppose I will stick to baking my own cuppies at home.

Anyway, this entire entry is kind of bullshit. I had a mostly boring day and it looks like there are many to follow. Maybe I'll get to work on fixing Whole Foods' recipe for them.


  1. Haha I laughed so hard when reading this! I work for a catering service that is all gluten-free so we've had our share of BAD baked goods haha. AND the coconut milk ice cream is good, isn't it! don't worry, it's not that bad for you - I guess it's not GREAT for you but it's better than cow's milk and some of the alternatives out there. randomly got you as a Postcrossing partner so keep an eye out in your mailbox for a little something from me :)

  2. I defend the baker friend of mine, eh said that an uncle of mine has a bakery, I believe that the bread is done here in Mexico is very different from the U.S., but that of the larger malls, but obviously varies everywhere, after having seen several entries in your blog about food illuminate the mind and I think it makes a cooking blog with my images by various recipes, of which the strangest of you dedicate to you hahah, hmm I only wish to leave this city, as well as your travel, and travel, I think your city is entertaining and fun just for the fact that you're there, seriously, each entry yours is fun as well say the previous comment concerning not want to eat or do not feel like because we are two, but here there are foods that you would make you a bit strange and I like a lot, even so I'm trying to lose weight and lower ... 7 kilos, you have to take care and be healthy, my city is a bit odd, does not compare to others in Mexico, but compared to some of the United States, I find some similarity, but to those of Texas, Laredo and El Paso bordering to say it better .... and he gave me many commentators elsewhere hahahah